


We go deeper than the ink beneath the skin of our tattoos

by Madalena



Series: We Built a Dynasty Like Nothing Ever Made [5]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: BAMF Lightwoods in general, BAMF Maryse Lightwood, Dreams, Dreamscapes, Dreamsharing, Gen, Good Parent Maryse Lightwood, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Sex, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Oaths, Other, Parabatai Feels, Protective Raphael Santiago, References to Depression, Runes, The Inquisitor is a Jerk, depictions of torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-09
Updated: 2017-12-19
Packaged: 2019-01-31 07:33:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 24,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12677280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madalena/pseuds/Madalena
Summary: Alec’s missing runes render his bonds to Magnus and Jace uncontrolled and unchecked, sending all three of them into magical comas. Now Magnus and Jace must set aside any differences and work together to navigate Alec’s dreamscape and bring him back under control if they ever hope to wake up.Meanwhile back in the New York Institute, Maryse Lightwood and Inquisitor Imogen Herondale prepare to come to blows over the Inquisitor’s controversial suggestion to end Alec’s life to save Jace’s.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know, I know, I left you hanging at the end of the last story, but you'll see pretty quick why I wanted to dedicate a separate story to this one!
> 
> This is a part of my "We Built a Dynasty Like Nothing Ever Made" series, and is a direct continuation of the previous story "I had to learn the hard way that salvation has its price". You probably want to read that story to have any of this one make sense ;)
> 
> Title is from “Brother” by Kodaline, which is the ultimate parabatai song (check YouTube for a variety of parabatai videos with the song).

In New York, Clary pulled the scraps of skin from Alec’s hand, screaming out his name, as the Portal behind her whipped up the air, pulling her screams away. She shoved the runes into her back pocket and dragged an unconscious Alec into the Portal -

\- which dropped them back into the middle of the Ops Center of the Institute, a crowd of surprised Shadowhunters confused at seeing their Head unconscious and bloody yet again.

* * *

In Idris, Jace fell to the ground, clutching his parabatai rune, calling out for Alec as the Council scrambled to him in confusion, the latest unmasked Circle member hurried off to the cells beneath the Gard as the Inquisitor yelled out Jace’s name, but getting no reply as Jace was barely breathing on the ground in front of her.

* * *

In the Spiral Labyrinth, Raphael turned to Luke, who was suddenly standing next to him, as was Gurak.

“Something’s wrong.” Raphael said. “We need to get Magnus out of here.”

Adalina moved to stand next to them. “We’re in the middle of the summit. The meeting must go on, you have to understand that. Magnus would want it that way.”

Raphael looked up at her, hissing, fangs popping out unbidden. “The summit can go on. Just give me and Magnus a Portal back to New York.” He turned to Luke. “Magnus trusts you. I give my vote and Magnus’ to you. You stay here, finish the summit.”

Luke nodded. Raphael turned back to Adalina. “Portal. Please.”

A Portal sprang up beside them, but it wasn’t Adalina who made it. It was Gurak.

“I’m coming with you.” The High Warlock of Samarkand said. “I feel that you may need my help.”

Raphael wasn’t going to argue. The more warlocks he had access to, the better. He lifted Magnus up, and turned to Gurak. “New York Institute. Ever been there?”

“Can’t say that I have.”

“Then better hold on.”

Gurak placed a hand on Raphael’s shoulder. Raphael nodded to Adalina and Luke, and walked through the Portal -

* * *

\- landing in the pandemonium of the New York Institute Ops Centre.

They were surrounded by Shadowhunters with drawn weapons immediately, and Gurak threw up a shield around them, just as a precaution, until they could evaluate the situation.

Raphael looked to see the source of the pandemonium, and saw Clary and Maryse kneeling next to an unconscious Alec. Raphael couldn’t see much of him, but he could smell his blood, and came to the conclusion that whatever had knocked Magnus unconscious was also responsible for Alec’s condition.

“Hey!” Raphael yelled in their direction. “Fairchild!”

Clary looked up, and her eyes widened as she saw Raphael standing there with an unconscious Magnus and a strange warlock, along with the Shadowhunters surrounding them with weapons. She gestured to Maryse, who looked behind her, and saw the scene. She stood up, smoothing down her dress, and ordered the Shadowhunters surrounding them to disperse.

“Can we trust her?” Gurak asked Raphael quietly.

“That’s Maryse Lightwood, Alec’s mother.” Raphael said just as quietly. “Normally I would have said no, but Isabelle tells me that she’s been mending bridges recently. Trying to not be the bigot she used to be. Clary seems to trust her, and Isabelle trusts Clary, so this seems like our best option right now.”

Gurak lowered the shield carefully as Maryse, now flanked by Helen and a black-haired girl that Raphael didn’t recognize, came up to them.

“What happened?” Maryse demanded.

“We were at the Downworlder summit.” Raphael said. “Magnus had just finished talking about why we’d all been called there. Then he collapsed in pain, a rune on his hand started bleeding, and he fell unconscious, whispering Alec’s name. What happened here?”

“My youngest son, Max, went missing on patrol. We went to find him, found the patrol team that he’d been with injured or dead. I took the wounded back to the Institute, Clary, Alec, Helen and Aline went out to find Max. They split up. Clary and Alec were taken prisoner by Jonathan, Valentine’s son. I don’t know all of the details yet, but it would seem that Jonathan tortured Alec and cut off some of his runes.”

“Which runes?” Gurak asked.

“And who are you?” Maryse asked, looking at the unfamiliar warlock.

“Gurak Bastani, High Warlock of Samarkand. I’m here to help. Which runes?”

“His parabatai rune, the rune similar to a parabatai rune that was used in the ritual to bind him with Magnus, and the Connection rune.”

“This is the rune that connected him to Magnus for that Clave trial?” Raphael asked, just to get clarification.

“Yes.”

Raphael shifted Magnus’ weight, pulling the warlock’s runed and bleeding hand free, showing it to Maryse. “Take a look at this. Whatever’s affecting them… must be the same thing, right?” Raphael addressed this last statement to Gurak.

Gurak nodded slowly. “It would follow. And, I would imagine, it is affecting the parabatai as well. Where is Alexander’s parabatai?”

“Idris.” Maryse said. “I’ll send a fire message immediately, make sure he’s safe.”

“He should be brought here.” Gurak said. “Whatever is happening to them… it’ll be easier to solve if they are together. Alexander, as well as the two people bound to him.”

Maryse nodded. “I’ll do that.”

“Wait.” Raphael said. “Max, did you find him?”

“Yes.” Maryse said suspiciously. “Helen and Aline found him.” She gestured to the women behind her. “He’s resting upstairs. The Circle members who had kidnapped him weren’t a problem to dispatch. How do you know my youngest son?”

“I helped Isabelle rescue him from the rogue Seelie.” Raphael said. “I’m glad he’s okay.”

Maryse nodded, clearly uncomfortable, and she dashed away before Raphael could ask anything else.

“Where is Isabelle?” he asked Helen, who still waited there.

“She’s in the infirmary.” Helen said. “She was injured by the Circle members. She’s still unconscious, last I checked.”

“Can I see her?”

Helen looked at him strangely. “Well… I don’t know. But we do need to take Magnus and Alec somewhere, and I guess the infirmary’s as good as any place.”

Aline stepped away, crouching down next to Clary. Raphael didn’t pay attention to what passed between them, but soon enough she was helping Clary lift Alec up, and after her eyes met Helen’s again, they started moving.

“This way.”

Raphael followed Helen as Clary and Aline carried Alec ahead of them. Gurak trailed behind him.

Once they arrived at the infirmary, Clary and Aline put Alec on a bed in the middle of the room, and Raphael put Magnus down on the one next to him. Raphael felt a twist of magic in the air, and saw the beds move closer together, along with the empty bed on the other side of Alec.

“It’ll be necessary.” Gurak said. “Once the parabatai is here, I’ll need space to work. You can go see that Isabelle now.”

Assured that Magnus was going to be in safe hands with Helen and Clary around, Raphael looked around for Isabelle, and spotting her, headed over to sit next to her bed.

Isabelle looked to be sleeping peacefully, and Raphael let himself touch her hair gently, stroking it as she began to stir. He pulled his hand back quickly as she blinked her eyes open, looking at him in confusion.

“Raphael?” Isabelle asked groggily. “What are you doing here? What’s going on?”

“Shhh.” He said gently. “You need to rest right now. You’ve been unconscious for awhile.”

“What happened? I - I was out on patrol, and - oh by the Angel. Max. The Circle members took Max!”

“It’s okay. Max is safe now.” Raphael whispered. “He’s safe. Don’t worry.”

“But Raphael - why are you here?” Isabelle’s eyebrows pinched together as she regained her far vision, and she saw Alec lying on the bed across the infirmary, Magnus next to him. “What happened to Alec? What’s wrong with Magnus?”

“We’re not sure right now.” Raphael said. “We just need to wait. Your mother is calling Idris, looking for Jace. Whatever’s wrong with Magnus and Alec is probably affecting Jace as well. When all three of them are here, we’ll know more.”

“I need to help them -” Isabelle made to get out of bed, but Raphael held her shoulder down gently.

“What you need to do right now is rest.” Raphael said. “They’ll need you to be at a hundred percent and you can’t do that if you’re jumping out of bed just after regaining consciousness after an injury.”

Isabelle slumped into the pillows. “You’re right. But I hate this.”

“Of course you do. You’re a Shadowhunter, always jumping straight into danger. But right now there’s nothing you can do besides wait. So just rest here, okay? I’ll let them know you’re awake.”

Isabelle nodded. “Thank you, Raphael. You still didn’t answer my question though.”

“I brought Magnus here when he fell unconscious with your brother’s name on his lips. Besides that, I know about as much as you do.”

“Okay.” Isabelle closed her eyes. “I guess that makes sense.”

“Magnus is one of my oldest friends. He’s like a father to me. I care about him.”

Isabelle nodded. “I think I’m going to sleep a bit more.”

“Good idea.”

When Raphael looked at her again, she looked like she had fallen asleep. Raphael stood up, seeking out Clary, who was standing at the end of Alec’s bed with Aline.

“Isabelle woke up.” Raphael said softly into her ear. Clary nodded, and Aline looked up sharply.

“Is she all right?” Aline asked, looking at him suspiciously.

“She’s asleep again, but she seemed fine. Worried about her brothers.”

“All of them, I guess.” Clary said faintly. She looked at Aline. “At least you found Max. But who knows about Jace - what happened to Jace with Alec like this -”

A commotion started at the door, and Clary’s question was answered. Two Shadowhunters in Inquisitors’ Guards uniforms bustled into the room, Jace on a stretcher between them. They stopped short when they saw the assortment of Downworlders in the room. Raphael watched Clary position herself between the two groups.

“Why is there a host of Downworlders in an Institute infirmary?” asked Imogen Herondale, sweeping into the room behind the stretcher bearing her grandson.

Maryse followed along behind her. “As I was trying to tell you, Inquisitor, whatever is affecting Jace is also affecting Alec and Magnus Bane. They are all needed here to figure it out.”

Imogen’s lip curled in distaste as her eyes swept over Raphael and Magnus, but her expression tightened when she saw Gurak.

“Haven’t seen you in a long time.” Imogen said carefully.

“Hasn’t felt that long to me, but all time is relative.” Gurak said. “Imogen Whitelaw, what a pleasure.”

“Inquisitor Imogen Herondale now.” The Inquisitor said tightly.

Gurak waved a hand. “Meaningless labels to me. This is Alexander’s parabatai?”

“My grandson, Jace Herondale.”

“Get him on the bed next to Alexander. I’ll need space to work, if all of you could step back. Does Magnus’ friend Catarina Loss still live and work in this city?”

“Yes.” Clary said.

“Good. If you can, can you contact her please? I may need her assistance.”

“Can you reattach these?” Clary pulled the drying scraps of Alec’s skin from her back pocket, holding them out to Gurak, who backed away.

“Put that on the bed next to Alexander. Reattach probably not, but I can probe for what may be necessary to heal them. All of them. Now stand back.”

Gurak made his voice boom out for the last two words, and everyone, even the Inquisitor, obeyed. Clary stepped out into the hallway to call Catarina. Raphael stood between Helen and Maryse as he watched Gurak work over the three prone figures.

Time ticked by, and Raphael could feel the Shadowhunters around him getting restless. He heard Isabelle wake again, and Clary and Aline move to her side quickly, reassuring her and filling her in on what she had missed.

After the Shadowhunters started shifting around more restlessly, some flitting off to do other tasks, Gurak finally stepped back from the three and turned to face the others.

“They have an interesting dilemma.” Gurak pronounced.

“What do you mean, interesting dilemma?” The Inquisitor pressed. “What is wrong with my grandson?”

Gurak looked at her sharply. “Your grandson is not the focal point of this equation. He is but one side of it. Alexander Lightwood is in the middle of it, and it is his runes that have been damaged. Literally carved out of him, though the mystical bonds that the runes represent still remain. But they have no channel, no tether, and thus their energies are running wild trying to find each other.”

“What can you do?”

“I cannot do anything. Their energies need to quiet and reconnect on their own, and once they do, they will need to redraw the physical manifestations of their bonds.”

“But they’re unconscious. They can’t draw anything.”

Gurak sighed, the long sigh of the long-suffering immortal, as he explained it all again. “Right now Alexander’s energy and bonds are uncontrolled. The severing of the physical manifestations of the bonds - that is, his runes - means that the energy that is usually channeled safely between the bonds - in your parlance, what makes it possible for parabatai to work and fight as one - is now running amok. His energy is pulling at Jace and Magnus, needing them both to stay anchored and to stay alive, but without its usual channels, it is overpowering all of them.”

“So how do we stop it? If we kill Mr Lightwood, will my grandson wake up?”

“Excuse me.” Maryse said, putting herself between the Inquisitor and the beds. “You are not killing my son.”

“His existence is threatening the life of my grandson, Maryse. I won’t stand for it. He’s caused enough trouble already.”

Imogen moved towards the bed, but with a flash Maryse was holding a seraph blade to the Inquisitor’s heart.

“Make one more move, and you’ll wish you never met my son.” Maryse said, her voice full of fury. She kept the tip pointed over the Inquisitor’s heart, but turned her head to look at Gurak. “What can be done?”

“As I said, I can’t do anything. It is up to Jace and Magnus to find Alexander, and anchor him again. Once they can do that, they’ll wake, they can redraw the runes, and then once Alexander wakes, all of them will be fine again.”

“My grandson is unconscious, yet you speak to me of him finding Alexander.” Imogen said tightly. “What do you mean, _warlock_?” Imogen was no longer allowing Gurak’s ancient status to interfere with her feelings. Gurak’s fingers twitched.

“They are in a dream realm. We can’t pull them from it. They need to find each other there, tether each other, and only then will they wake. Even if you wanted to speed up the process, as you say, by severing Alexander from the equation, your grandson would still not wake. He could be trapped in a nightmare forever, looking for a parabatai that is no longer on this plane.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So… stepping into Alec’s dreamscape - what do you think they’ll see there? Any opinions on what they should see? I appreciate any and all suggestions :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus and Jace wake up in Alec's dreamscape, and begin to understand what their purpose there is. (Please read tags and notes!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Important Note: Mentions of blood, torture, depression and self-harm.** Please practice self-care and read with caution if you’re triggered by any of these things. Know that you're not alone, and please ask for help if you need it!

Jace groaned, opening his eyes slowly, even though he knew it would be a mistake by the way the bright orange sun blazed into them as he did so. He groaned again, rolling over, feeling a flash of pain as his parabatai rune struck a sharp rock. His eyes widened, remembering what he’d last felt, the overwhelming agony roaring through his body, telling him only one thing: _Alec is in trouble_.

_Alec._

“Alec?” Jace called, scrambling to his feet. “ALEC!”

Jace looked around himself, puzzled at his surroundings. Burning sand whipped across his skin as he stood in a sandy and ashy wasteland, rocks and crumbling cairns the only variations to the yellow and grey terrain around him. A bit further off, he saw movement - clearly something alive - no, _someone_ alive, it was clearly a person - not the rock he had initially believed.

“Alec?” Jace moved towards the person warily. But already as he got closer, he knew it wasn’t Alec. Clothes were too tailored, body movements too fluid.

“Magnus?” Jace asked curiously.

Magnus shot to his feet, whipping around in his fight stance. Jace assumed there was supposed to be magic in his hands, even if there wasn’t anything visibly there. Magnus looked confused, wondering why his magic wasn’t working. Only then did he look up.

“Jace?” Magnus asked, just as confused. He glanced down at his hands, noticing the bleeding rune, which was dripping blood onto the hot ashy ground.

“What the hell is going on?” Jace asked. “I - all I remember is a lot of pain, knowing that Alec was in trouble, and now - where the hell are we? And where the hell is Alec?”

“I felt that as well.” Magnus said, eyeing him closely. “I felt Alec’s pain, tearing through me, and then I noticed that our rune was bleeding and - I don’t know what happened next.”

“How is it then that both of us are - wherever we are - but we’re not with Alec?” Jace pressed his hand down on his parabatai rune, and his shirt also began to stain with blood. “I can feel him, he’s alive, it’s just - strange. Like he’s here, close to me, but far and unreachable at the same time.”

Magnus nodded. “I - give me a moment to think. I - before I blacked out, I’d realized what was happening. To us, and to Alec. I just need a minute to remember.”

“Take your time.” Jace said, tapping his hand on his arm in a manner that indicated anything but patience.

Magnus turned away from Jace, rubbing his temples with his fingers. What was it? What was it that he had realized? He knew Alec had been in trouble from the pain that he’d felt, radiating out from the rune, but what was it that caused it to bleed, and to have the same reaction in Jace as well?

Oh, right, there was _that_.

He turned back to Jace. “Alec is in trouble. Big trouble. And consequently, so are we.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

“The trouble Alec is in is different from the trouble we’re in. But in the end, the problem is the same. Alec - someone was torturing him. More specifically, someone cut off the runes that bound him to us.”

“What, someone like Kaelie?”

Magnus shook his head. “That was the Seelie knight that was creating a Downworld uprising?” Jace nodded. “No, I don’t think like that - it feels targeted. With your parabatai rune - you feel Alec, you felt the pain he was in, but you’re not feeling new pain, right? You’re just feeling… him, but in a way that you’ve never felt before.”

“Yeah.”

“So that tells us he isn’t being hurt anymore, but he is still alive. There’s no new physical pain being added. But spiritual pain, as it were - that’s different.”

“What do you mean?”

“The bonds - your bond to Alec. Your parabatai bond. It binds two souls together, right?”

“Yeah.”

“And with the ritual we did, and the subsequent rune for the trial - Alec and I are also soulbound to each other. Different than you two, of course, but we are just the same. Which is why this has affected us the same way.”

“What has? What’s doing this?”

“Someone cut off the runes that bound Alec to us. But, it would seem, only those ones.”

“What? Why - why would someone cut off his binding runes, and just leave it there? That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Unless it was something about those binding runes that interested them. Something about those bindings that they felt was too dangerous, too intriguing, too - whatever. But that’s not the part that matters right now.”

“My parabatai’s parabatai rune was cut off, and you’re telling me that it doesn’t matter? I’d say it matters a great deal.”

“It does. I didn’t mean it like that - I meant that the reasons why don’t matter, what matters is what that’s done.”

“What has it done?”

Magnus sighed. “The rune is more than just a symbol to show your binding to one another. It is a tether - it allows you to channel that bond safely and effectively. Now that Alec’s runes have been severed, he doesn’t have that tether.”

“So… what? Is that why it hurt so much? His soul was crying out to ours?”

Magnus nodded. “Exactly. Which explains where we are right now.”

Jace looked around again, but the terrain hadn’t changed. “So where are we?”

“We’re inside Alexander’s mind.”

“Wait… you mean…”

Magnus nodded. “Yes. And we have an important job to do. We have to tether him again.”

“Wait, is this like when he went beyond the bounds of the parabatai rune to try and track me?”

“In a sense. Not having the tethers to bind him to us safely, his soul screamed out for ours, looking for that contact, and now not only is he in a coma dream state, but so are we.”

“We’re also unconscious and in his dream?”

“In a manner of speaking.”

“Then how can we tether him again? When it happened last time, all that needed to happen was I needed to be near him again, I recited the parabatai oath, and then… he woke up. But if we’re unconscious with him, how can we do that? We’re screwed. All of us.”

“No, we aren’t. We just have to find him and tether him in here.”

“Give him his runes back, you mean? Did you bring a stele to the dream world? Because I sure didn’t.”

“Not like that. We need to find him, help him control his energies, and then when that has happened, his mind will release us. We’ll wake up, give him back his runes, and then he’ll wake up as well.”

“Sounds simple enough. What’s the catch?”

“Dream worlds… they’re rarely as simple as they seem. Personalities have many layers. We might see parts of Alexander that neither of us have ever seen before. Both good and bad. But you have to remember, that whatever we see - it is all a part of the Alexander we know and love.”

Jace nodded. “I’ll do anything for him, Magnus. I’d walk through hell if that’s what it took.”

“I know you would. So would I. And he would do the same for either of us. In the past few days, he has. So now we have to do it for him.”

“Where do we start?” Jace looked around, looking for any sort of change in the terrain, any indication that told them they needed to go in a specific direction, but nothing looked promising, until… Jace squinted into the distance, and saw a familiar building. The Institute.

“I think I see the Institute over there.” Jace said, pointing. “Seems like as good a place as any?”

Magnus nodded. “Seems promising.”

They walked towards the Institute, though Magnus kept a sharp eye out around them for any other possibilities, not wanting to miss any details. However, there were none, only the looming shape of the Institute to distract from the washed-out landscape, and the wind searing the sand and ash into his skin.

Jace rested a hand on the doorknob, looking at Magnus. “Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

* * *

The door opened into blackness - an inky, oozing blackness that moved on its own and coated almost every surface. And what the blackness covered wasn’t the New York Institute that Magnus knew. Between the black slithers, he saw showcases of Downworlder trophies, as if they’d been plucked from an Institute from centuries past, Institutes that Magnus was all too familiar with. Institutes who demanded Downworlder powers as if they were their right, and wouldn’t even do the courtesy of covering up their trophies when they came.

The halls smelled of broken promises, centuries of violence and every corner oozed with mistrust. Magnus shuddered at the memories, loosening his cravat so he could breathe. He could feel the anxiety and pain that came with the centuries of Nephilim superiority that had defined much of his life.

Much of his life, until Alec. His Alec, who was trying so hard to make Shadowhunter society into a force that worked with the Downworld, as opposed to against it, and wouldn’t give up despite the skepticism and mistrust he had to face on a daily basis - both from the Downworld and his own people.

Magnus looked to Jace, who was blinking slowly in the gloom, as if he was trying to get a handle on where they were.

“You all right?” Magnus asked.

“Yeah.” Jace’s brow furrowed. “I - this looks like home, but - the blackness permeating every inch of this place - it - is this place infected? Is this a demon? A demon in Alec’s mind?”

“Not the type of demon you’re thinking of, Jace.” Magnus said sadly. “But some would call it that.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know how Alec struggled for years. The expectations of his parents, the Clave. Not to mention the secrets he was keeping. That wears on a person.”

Jace went silent, reaching a hand out to touch the wall, and it came back covered in the same inky goo. “Well, I guess there’s nothing to do besides keep going, right? If this place appeared, that means there’s something we need to do here, doesn’t it?”

“It does.” Magnus followed Jace as he started moving down the hallway, towards what Magnus knew to be the Ops Centre in the New York Institute, though that isn’t what he was seeing. He saw only the trophy cabinets, dozens of them, lining the walls. Werewolf claws, vampire teeth, warlock marks. One cabinet had a display of eyeballs in jars, floating around in muck, and Magnus shut his eyes, rubbing at them, as if this would make the visuals go away.

Jace noticed Magnus pause, and turned around to see him rubbing his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“You’re seeing the New York Institute, as it was when you last saw it?” Magnus asked.

“Yeah. What is it? Are you not?”

“No. Institute of some kind, yes, but… from the past. From the days before the Accords, most likely, but not necessarily. A time… a very different time. One that I don’t want to go back to.”

Jace gripped Magnus’ elbow. “Do you think - do you think this is bringing up what we see Institutes as? For me, they’re home, for Alec too - but with all of the pain that brings. They mean something different to you, though, don’t they?”

“Centuries of pain and oppression of my people? Yeah, just a little different.” Magnus’ voice was like ice.

“Hey.” Jace lifted his hands in surrender. “I know. I get it. Shadowhunters have given you little reason to trust them over the centuries. But you know that that’s changing.”

“Is it?” Magnus asked, eyes burning into Jace. “Just a few weeks ago, your grandmother wanted to tag all Downworlders with GPS chips. And you went along with it.”

“I didn’t want that. But there were no easy answers in that situation. Shadowhunters were dying. We had to do _something_.”

“Doing something doesn’t require treating innocent people like potential murderers! It wasn’t you and your tracking chips that caught Kaelie, it was Isabelle, Raphael and Meliorn. Without tracking chips or DNA profiles, I may add.”

“I made a bad call, all right? And I knew, I knew with all the pressure that my grandmother would put on me that I wouldn’t be able to run the Institute fairly - and by fairly, I mean doing right by Shadowhunters and Downworlders. That’s why I gave the job to Alec. Because I knew he would. Because I knew he would do what’s right. Because he has the purest heart I’ve ever known, and I’ve been shit at taking care of it. Not… not like _that_ , that’s your job not mine, but I mean - I told you once that I wouldn’t let anyone hurt him. And it seems like all I’ve been able to do is hurt him - by hurting you. And that hurts him worse than anything I could ever do to him personally.”

“Jace, you haven’t - I mean, yes, those calls were the wrong ones, but you didn’t - you didn’t hurt me. I’m used to bone-headed Shadowhunters treating Downworlders like scum.”

Jace’s mouth quirked up in a half-smile at Magnus’ back-handed insult, but then he shook it away. “But you shouldn’t be. Used to it, I mean. And it wasn’t even that. That DNA thing was the least of the stupid shit I’ve done recently. The Soul Sword? That could have killed you. Alec would have never forgiven me if it had.”

“I’m just as much to blame for that, Jace. I confirmed that vision you had, that you would be able to destroy it with your demon blood. Wasn’t anyone’s fault but Valentine’s for making you believe you had demon blood when you actually had angel blood.”

“Stop it, just… stop. Stop absolving me. Though I know that’s what you do because you’re just like Alec, you have a good heart and will forgive people even when they don’t deserve it. I haven’t even gotten to the worst part.”

“What’s the worst part?”

Jace froze, considering, thinking what to do or say next. Then he motioned forward. “Come on. I’ll show you.”

Magnus followed Jace up the hall to the second set of elevators. The elevators that he well knew went down to the cells beneath the Institute. The cells where… Magnus closed his eyes, not wanting to let those images sneak back in.

“It was right here. You know the day I’m talking about, I’m sure you do. When you and Valentine… well anyway. It was right here, I was walking by when Alec had just come up on this elevator. I was congratulating him for killing Azazel, but that - none of that was registering for him. He’d just been in the cells, talking to you, and he was ready to believe you. Believe the truth, that you and Valentine had switched bodies. I… I convinced him out of it. Talked about how Valentine was a master manipulator. And because I did - all that pain you went through, Magnus, I’m sorry. That torture - the Agony rune - almost having Alec complicit in executing you - everything that did to you and Alec, that’s all my fault. I’m so sorry.”

“Jace… we got past it. I forgave him. And yes, there were nightmares, and sleepless nights, but we did eventually talk it out. They’re going away. And now - now we’re fine.”

“You might have forgiven him. But he didn’t forgive himself.”

“What are you talking about?” Magnus asked, though deep down, he was afraid he already knew. A sick feeling bubbled up inside him, he’d seen the signs earlier, he should have… but he’d been wrapped up in his own terrible memories to notice.

“I - I should have told you, but I didn’t want to burden you any more than you already were, and with my part in it - I didn’t feel like I deserved to. And the backlash was so strong that _I_ felt it. I know what his worst memory was. It was what he did to _you_. I thought Alec would talk to you in his own time, but if - if this -” - Jace waved his hand to indicate the blackness around them - “If this is what he feels like every time he sets foot in this place, then I’m guessing he didn’t tell you.”

Magnus pressed his lips together. Suspicions confirmed, then. “If you felt it, why didn’t you stop him?” 

“I guess it wouldn’t help if I said it wasn’t the first time?” Jace sighed, resting against the wall, dropping his head back. “I’ve never let it get too far, Magnus. I promise you that. When he - it would be only once. Then I’d find him. We wouldn’t talk about it, but we’d - we’d train. And then he wouldn’t do it again for months. Sometimes years. It didn’t get that bad often. Maybe half a dozen times in the seven years we’ve been parabatai. It was different this time though. I felt it. He’d - he’d activated it two or three times before I showed up and had to fight him to get his stele out of his hand.”

“I should have realized he’d do something like that.” Magnus admitted. “I’d seen signs of it before - after he was possessed and killed Jocelyn, the night of Max’s rune ceremony - but in the aftermath of the body swap I… I just tuned out from everyone else. All I could focus on was my own self-loathing and hatred. Just… everything was a struggle, I didn’t even realize. And when he was with me, he was always so focused on me and what he could do for me that… I guess I made myself believe that he was okay too.”

Jace snorted. “Of course he would make you think that. If it has somehow escaped your notice, Alec has a martyr complex the size of Texas. Question is, what do we do about it?”

Magnus studied his fingernails intently, as if they held the answer that he was looking for, before looking back up at Jace. “We need to remind him that he isn’t alone. That come good or bad, we’re always here for him. And - and that means we have to be here for each other as well. Parts of Alec’s soul reside in both of us. We need to work together. So - I forgive you.”

Jace nodded. “I just want him to be happy. I’ll do whatever I have to to make that happen.”

“Good. So will I.” Magnus held out his hand, and Jace took it, shaking it firmly.

As they let go of each other, back down the hallway they’d come from, a bright light appeared, slowly moving closer. Jace and Magnus squinted at it, and soon they realized it wasn’t a light at all, but a person.

Jace stared in confusion. “Isabelle?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll warn you, this dreamscape is going to get dark! But, hopefully, this will all be the first step to Alec being able to heal from past hurts and go into a bright future.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jace and Magnus visit some of Alec's formative childhood memories, and Jace has the opportunity to correct past mistakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Important Note:** Mentions of self-harm. Please practice self-care and read with caution. Know that you're not alone, and please ask for help if you need it!

“Isabelle.” Magnus said. “Are you… are you here?”

“Not in the same way you are.” She smiled at them. “But I’m glad to see you’re making progress already.”

“We are?” Jace asked, confused.

“You’re two of the most important people in Alec’s life. It is important that you get along.”

“You’re important to him too, you have to know that.” Magnus said, reaching for her, but she pulled away.

“Thanks, but I’m not actually Isabelle.”

“Which part of Alec’s subconscious are you then?” Jace asked.

Isabelle flipped her hair back. “I guess I’m the confident and sassy part of Alec that wants to wake up, and _now_ , and doesn’t understand the anger and self-loathing that the rest of me deals with every day. Don’t worry about me. Just find _him_. He’s the one who needs your help. You know where to go.”

Isabelle sashayed back down the hallway, and vanished.

“Why Izzy?” Jace wondered. “I guess in the movies there are always guides in dream sequences, but - why Izzy? And why like that?”

“Isabelle is a Lightwood, just like Alec. Family, blood family - that’s a different type of bond that neither of us can understand. Alec must feel that his confidence isn’t something that is a part of him, so he projects that as belonging to someone else, like Isabelle, who, as he sees it, has that confidence.”

“But he does have confidence. What he did at his wedding - how he told off Aldertree - the Inquisitor - he’s got balls of steel.”

“And I’m sure he appreciates your confidence. Isabelle said to find _him_ \- it isn’t the confident part of him that is struggling right now, but rather that part of him that is _always_ struggling. That is always in some kind of pain and struggle.”

“Ergo the decorations.” Jace said, looking at their inky black surroundings again. He sighed. “I just… I wonder if I’d been more open with him when we were younger, if I’d told him I knew and it was okay, if… if things would have been different.”

“Maybe. Maybe not. There’s more to all of this than just his sexuality, you have to know that, right? That’s not the only thing that was wearing on him.”

Jace let out a long breath. “You mean the part where Izzy and I were frequently irresponsible little shits and he always had to cover for us?”

“I wasn’t going to put it like that, but in a word, yes.”

“Yeah, I know. He’s the oldest. I just - I just lost my head when Clary showed up, you know? And it took him putting a blade to my throat for me to realize just everything - every sacrifice he was ready to make for me and Izzy - what that would mean for him. What that would _do_ to him. I’m just sorry that it took us so long to mend bridges.”

“He had his faults in those arguments too. You were at the trial, you saw it.”

“Yeah. That surprised me, you know? But I guess I’m glad about that, in a way, because it proved what I’d been trying to tell him all along - that the Clave has lost its way. That to the angels, being in sync with your parabatai means more than the Clave’s Laws. But now -” Jace smiled. “I really think that something could change. And I’m glad that Alec seems to be the one at the centre of it.”

“Indeed.” Magnus nodded his approval. “However, to make that change - Alec needs to not be unconscious. So how about we stop the chit-chat and actually get to the business of getting out of his head?”

“Yeah. Let’s do that.”

Even though neither of them had touched it, the elevator suddenly dinged and the doors slid open.

“I guess this is our ride?” Jace said, looking at it warily.

Magnus surveyed its interior, the decor matching the rest of the Institute he saw, but assumed Jace probably saw it as the New York Institute. “It would appear so.”

No further words passed between them as they got into the elevator, and let it choose its own course.

* * *

The elevator took them up, up, up into what Magnus knew to be the living quarters of the Institute’s residents - though, if that would actually be what they found on the other side of the door, he couldn’t know.

The door pinged open into a hallway that looked like an Institute - but not quite the Institutes of old that Magnus had been seeing downstairs, but also not the modern look of the New York Institute. Jace’s eyes lit up, however, which indicated that it did seem familiar to him, at least in part.

“This is what this place used to look like.” Jace breathed, stepping out of the elevator. “Back when I first arrived here, when we were kids.”

The inky depths of blackness that had permeated every surface downstairs weren’t there, though a tiny bit was beginning to curl in on the edges, barely noticeable, only _really_ noticeable if someone was paying attention. And Magnus definitely was - while they hadn’t seen any people yet, from what Jace had said and only the tiniest hints of darkness, Magnus surmised that this was from Alec’s childhood, before he understood the full weight of the responsibilities that would be weighing him down.

Jace seemed to know where he was going, and Magnus followed him. They passed the rooms that Magnus knew now belonged to Alec and Isabelle, and proceeded to a larger suite down at the far end - the rooms of the Heads of the Institute, which, at the time, meant Alec’s parents, Robert and Maryse.

Jace stopped at the open door, looking inside. A soft smile played over his lips, and Magnus moved faster to join him. He peered in the door, and saw a small black-haired boy - only about three or four years old - sitting on a play pad on the floor next to a crib. He held a tiny baby with the same black hair in his small arms, rocking her back and forth seriously. A younger Robert and Maryse stood on the other side of the room, smiling fondly at them.

“He’s already so good with her.” Maryse whispered, wiping away a happy tear. “He’s barely left her since she was born.”

“You made sure to tell him that being a big brother was an important responsibility.” Robert said. “Alec may be young, but he understands responsibility very well. Most other parents in the Institute have to chase their children away from the weapons room, but Alec has never been caught trying to sneak in there unsupervised. He’s first in his class, but he also works hard to help classmates that aren’t doing so well. He’s going to make a fine leader one day.”

“Hopefully he’ll make better choices than we did.” Maryse said, eyes still on Alec. “He can never know. What we did, what we were a part of - we can never tell him. About any of it. He has to believe that we’ve always been the people he sees us to be. Good, Law-abiding, strict but fair. He needs to believe that.”

“And if someone else tells him? We can’t protect them forever, Maryse. Alec, Isabelle - they’ll find out eventually, whether it is from us or from someone else.”

Maryse wiped away a final tear and squared her shoulders, looking more like the Maryse that Magnus knew. “No. His faith in us can’t be questioned. There’s a ban on talking about - about _them_ \- anyway. And _he’s_ dead. There’s no reason for it to come up. No reason to air our dirty laundry to our children. They’ll grow up ignorant of all of that, and be better for it.”

“You know the Clave is always going to be looking harder at us, at our family, because of it. Is it really fair to subject them to that? When they don’t even know why?”

“The Law is hard, but it is the Law. They will learn that very quickly, and learn to obey it. And when they do, the Clave will have no reason to question our loyalty anymore. Alec is already learning quickly, and he’ll make sure that Isabelle does as well.”

“But he didn’t.” Jace murmured to Magnus as they watched the scene. “He always protected her - and me. He took on the mantle of responsibility so we didn’t have to. Let us live our own lives while he was the perfect Clave soldier. I’m just - like I said, I’m sorry I didn’t see it earlier. That I didn’t see everything he was sacrificing for us. He almost sacrificed himself. I - I don’t know if I would’ve been able to live with myself if he’d gone through with it. The marriage, I mean.”

Magnus nodded silently, eyes still on the family in the room. Robert soon passed by them without notice, heading to a different part of the Institute. Maryse crouched down next to Alec.

“Your father and I need to go out on a hunt. You know where the diapers and bottles are if she needs them. We shouldn’t be long, just a few Shax demons, nothing to worry about.”

Alec nodded solemnly. “I’ll take care of Izzy.”

“Good boy.” Maryse kissed his forehead, and then disappeared out the door after Robert.

When they were alone, Alec put his baby sister down gently on the playpad, and lay down next to her, tickling her belly as she gurgled at him. He smiled - Magnus could recognize that wide genuine smile he knew from his Alec already, one that came out so rarely, and Magnus knew it was a smile reserved exclusively for him and Alec’s siblings.

“I’ll always protect you, Izzy.” Alec whispered to her. “I’ll be the best big brother I can ever be. You’ll never have to worry about anything because I’ll always be here to protect you.” He kissed her forehead, and Magnus couldn’t help but grin at the goofy smile that Isabelle made as she giggled and batted at her brother’s nose.

The scene before them flickered, as if there was an electrical fault, and Magnus frowned until it appeared to reset. They were still in the same room, the same hallway, now, but clearly some time had passed - the inky blackness was creeping up the walls a bit more, and Robert and a very pregnant Maryse were back in the room, and Alec and Isabelle were both about eight years older. A pig-tailed Isabelle was sitting on the floor, crying, and Alec was standing protectively between her and their parents.

“Alexander Gideon Lightwood, I heard what the weapons master said. He told us very clearly that Isabelle stole that whip from the armory. That she was in there without supervision again.” Maryse said very sternly.

“He wasn’t looking.” Alec said stubbornly, crossing his arms. “I was right there. She’s at the age where she can start considering specialized weapons. Yes, she still needs to take all of the tests, but from what I’ve seen of her test results so far, the whip is a good choice for her. So I let her look at it. She didn’t hurt herself. It was fine.”

Alec stared down his mother, arms crossed in his very _Alec_ stance, as if daring her to challenge him.

Maryse sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose, and then she gasped, hand going to her belly, frowning.

“What’s wrong?” Robert asked. “Is it the baby?”

Maryse nodded, biting her lip. “Won’t be long now. And the Wayland boy is arriving this afternoon - this baby could have better timing.”

Jace straightened up at the sound of his name, turning to Magnus. “That’s right. I arrived here the day before Max was born. Maryse, Robert - they were already in the infirmary, Maryse was already in labour. So Alec was the first Lightwood I met.”

“You didn’t see them?”

“Not until after Max was born. Would you want to be trying to have a conversation with Maryse while she was in labour?”

“Definitely not.”

They turned their attention back to the scene in front of them, and saw how Robert was carefully walking Maryse to the door, and presumably off to the infirmary. Alec took one look at the door, ensuring they were gone, and then dropped his fight-me stance, kneeling down immediately to hug a still-crying Isabelle.

“It’s okay Izzy, it’s okay.” He whispered to her. “Just please don’t do it again. Mom and Dad were distracted this time, but please - now you’re going to have to be a big sister too. To the new baby.”

Isabelle huffed. “And be like you? Always doing what Mom and Dad want? Even if it is stupid?”

“They just want what’s best for you.” Alec said. “And so do I. _Please_ be safe, Izzy. You’re my little sister and I love you. And I want to always protect you, but - you won’t be the only one now. There’s the new baby. And there’s that kid who is showing up today that Mom and Dad are saying will be our brother too, though he’s not a baby.”

“Why is _he_ coming?” Isabelle sniffed. “Why doesn’t he just stay in Idris?”

“Because Dad and his dad were parabatai a long time ago, you know that.”

“I thought parabatai were always supposed to stay together. Why did Dad leave him behind in Idris?”

“I don’t know, Izzy. I don’t know.” Alec stroked her hair. “But I _do_ know that if I ever have a parabatai, I will never leave him. Never. And I’ll never leave you either. You’re my baby sister and I’ll always be here when you need me.”

Isabelle nodded as Alec rested his chin on her head, holding her as she finally stopped crying.

The scene flickered again, and when it stabilized, there was no one in the room in front of them, besides more creeping darkness, so Magnus and Jace looked back to the hallway. Within a few moments, they saw an older Alec - around sixteen, now - storming down the hall past them, going into his room and then slamming the door behind him so hard that it actually bounced back, before he shoved it closed again. Magnus shifted, ready to go follow them, but Jace put a hand on his arm, shaking his head.

“Not yet. I know what day this is. Just wait.”

“What if we need to see what is on that side of the door? Before whatever else happens?”

“Fair enough.”

Jace followed Magnus towards the room, where they didn’t need to physically open the door to get inside, they just found themselves on the other side as they neared it, and saw Alec sitting on the other side of it, clearly angry and breathing harshly. He ran his hands through his hair in a familiar gesture, trying to calm himself, but clearly not succeeding. He reached blindly for his belt, pulling out his stele, setting it to his forearm with trembling but determined fingers.

He’d only made one line of the rune - a familiar one that made Magnus’ heart ache for the young boy in front of him - before a furious banging started up on the other side of the door.

“Let me in!” came a familiar voice - Jace. “Come on, Alec, let me in!”

Alec’s fingers trembled some more, and with a gasp he let his hand drop, the single swirl of the unfinished rune fading away. He dropped his stele and let it roll away. After taking a few more deep breaths, he stood and opened the door to find himself face to face with a young Jace.

“What’s with you?” Jace demanded angrily. “Alec, we’ve already been brothers for years. We’ve _talked_ about this. And now when I formally asked you to be my parabatai, you run away? What’s wrong?”

Alec took a shuddering breath and stepped back, face twisted with guilt. “I… I don’t know. It’s just… now it is so real. It’s permanent, Jace.”

“Weren’t we always going to be?” Jace asked, wide-eyed and trusting.

The Jace standing beside Magnus gasped. And it seemed that the gasp froze the tableau in front of them - young Jace and Alec didn’t speak or move a muscle.

“What is it?” Magnus asked.

“Well, obviously I remember this day. I remember every moment of it - but I didn’t _know_ everything then, not what I know now. Izzy told me - after I came back from Valentine, after the trial with the Silent Brothers and Aldertree - she told me that Alec almost didn’t go through with it. The parabatai ritual, that is. I only figured out his feelings for me several years later, after we’d come of age and Alec _still_ wasn’t dating or even looking at girls. I - I hadn’t known how he felt. I just knew that for some reason my best friend and brother was afraid to commit to being parabatai with me, even though we’d been talking about it almost as long as we’d known each other. I - I thought that -” Jace’s mouth twisted. “Let’s just say that I said some really stupid things.”

Jace looked back at the younger version of himself, frozen in front of Alec. “I… I just wish I’d been able to tell him what he needed to know. That I’d stand by him _no matter what_. Instead of letting him pull away from me.”

“Maybe you can.” Magnus suggested. “Just look - right here, right now, maybe that’s what he needs.”

“Worth a shot, I guess.”

“Just - be delicate. He probably - don’t go blazing in all ‘I know you like guys’. He wasn’t ready to admit that about himself when I met him, so at this age? He’ll be even more in denial. So - be tactful.”

Jace nodded, stepping closer to the younger version of himself, and closer, and he found he was able to meld into him. As soon as Jace was standing fully within his younger self, they unfroze.

“I - I want to be.” Alec stammered. “But - I don’t know -”

“Alec.” Jace said seriously, his eyes clearly the eyes of an older Jace, resting a hand on Alec’s shoulder. “You and me, we’re permanent. Don’t ever doubt that. You’re my best friend, my brother, and I love you. No matter what. I want us to be parabatai, because we fight better together than we do apart. Don’t doubt that I’ll always stand by you. No matter who else comes into our lives - no girl I marry can come between us. And whoever you want to settle down with, whoever you want to marry, they won’t replace me either. There is no finite love in this world. I will always love you as my brother, and one day someone will love you in the other ways you need too. And no matter who that is, what we have will always be permanent too. So please, will you be my parabatai, and make it official?”

Alec let out a shaky breath, resting his forehead against Jace’s. “Yeah. I will. Thank you.”

Jace pulled him into a hug. “Thank you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Protective Big Brother Alec gives me all the feels. Watching through S1 again, I realized just how Jace and Izzy were taking him for granted, and it made me so sad :(


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus and Jace visit Alec's memory of Alec and Magnus' first time, where Magnus has fond recollections of the evening, but when Jace questions Magnus' devotion to Alec, they are sent into nightmares of Alec's worst memory and fears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Important Note: Torture, mentions of past torture and generally all-around pain and sadness.** This is a painful and hard chapter, and especially hard to post this week, but after pain there is healing, and I promise this story series does have a happy ending!

When Jace opened his eyes, he was back in his present body, and the younger version of Alec was gone. He and Magnus were back in the Ops Centre of the Institute.

“Well, I guess that worked?” Jace said. “Good call.”

Magnus nodded. “This isn’t my first dreamscape. They all present themselves differently, of course, and even every scenario we end up in won’t have the same solution, but - if you watch and see how it responds, you can get a clue as to what needs to be done. Remember - Alexander wants us to find him. His subconscious isn’t going to make it easy, but it isn’t going to make it impossible either. But we also need to be very careful with how we behave in here - his mind will respond to our suggestions, our worries and concerns, and that could have unpredictable consequences - so keep yourself focused on him, on helping him, and don’t let anything else distract you.”

“Right.” Jace commented warily. “So what now? Where to?”

As if on cue, the elevator dinged again. They stepped back in, and waited to see where it would take them this time. It started descending down, down, down into the basement, and Magnus started to feel sick. He had nothing but terrible memories from the Institute’s basement, all associated with Valentine, his own imprisonment there while in Valentine’s body, and finally Valentine’s snide remarks before he disappeared into the Portal, vanishing from sight.

The doors dinged open, but instead of the basement he was expecting, Magnus was faced with his own loft.

“Not quite what I was expecting to find in the Institute’s basement.” Jace quipped.

“Not what I was expecting either.” Magnus said, stepping cautiously out into the loft. He looked around at the furnishings, noting that they were contemporary, which made sense, since Alec wouldn’t have seen his loft any time outside of the past couple of months. So they weren’t far off in terms of timing. He was about to turn to say as much to Jace when he heard something he wasn’t expecting.

From the direction of his bedroom, he heard Alec chuckle. A light breathy laugh that he didn’t hear often from his Shadowhunter - but there was one instance, here, in this space, where he remembered hearing it quite clearly.

Oh, _no_. Jace did _not_ need to see that.

“Really?” Magnus griped. “Do we have to go here?”

Jace looked at him oddly. “Did I just hear what I think I heard?”

“You don’t need to be here for this. You really really don’t.”

“I don’t think it works that way, Magnus. I’m here, like it or not.”

Magnus sighed. “Just… just don’t…”

“Hey.” Jace said, grabbing Magnus’ arm. “That’s my brother in there. I’m assuming with you. I don’t need to see it, I’d really rather not, it is private and none of my business, but know that I’m not judging you. Or him. I meant what I said to Alec back there.”

“The morning after, you gave me the shovel talk. That wasn’t judging?”

“Not… not judging like _that_. Seriously. I accept that my brother is gay. I love him, and that doesn’t matter to me. I’m not judging that you two are together. I just… I didn’t want him to get hurt. Because he’s my brother, my parabatai, and the most important person in the world to me.”

“I won’t -”

“I know. I know that now. After everything you’ve been through over the past few weeks, I know that. I know you two are stupidly in love with each other. I don’t doubt that.”

“Are you sure?” Magnus asked, raising an eyebrow while pulling out of Jace’s grasp and moving towards the bedroom door. He felt weird about going in and observing, but if this was what they had come here for - this was his and Alec’s shared memory - why should he feel awkward? Why should he feel awkward watching himself and the love of his life in a special moment?

Jace followed him reluctantly. “You know, earlier this same day, Alec walked in on me with Kaelie.” Jace mused. “He just ignored what was happening entirely. Just stood there, telling me to come with him.”

“I remember.”

They stood next to the closed door, seeing if they would end up on the other side automatically, or if they would have to do something. The dream didn’t shift them, so Magnus went to slide the door open himself.

As expected, the two figures on the bed didn’t make any sort of indication that they were being watched, that this Magnus and Jace had entered the room.

Jace avoided watching them, he looked at the ceiling, really _really_ not needing to see his brother in the middle of sex, but Magnus’ eye was definitely drawn to the bed. After all, how many opportunities would he have to relive such a special memory?

Magnus remembered that first night together fondly. After he’d dropped his glamour in the middle of their kissing frenzy and pulled away when he couldn’t bring it back, Alec had reassured him that he didn’t have anything to worry about - and Alec had called his eyes beautiful. Though Magnus had had some reservations earlier, after Alec had said that, they’d all but melted away, and they’d spent a truly lovely evening together.

They’d resumed their frantic kissing, and soon enough all of their clothes were on the ground. This appeared to have been the moment that he and Jace had just walked in on - the moment when they’d first pressed their naked bodies together and started to move against each other, hands roaming over sweaty skin and light moans coming from their throats as they started to feel that beautiful friction.

Magnus knew what came next. They’d start to use their hands, and work each other through to a beautiful finish, before curling up together and falling asleep, waking the next morning still entwined together. Magnus smiled fondly as he remembered Alec’s radiant smile that morning, and just how happy and at peace they had both been.

A lot had happened since then.

Magnus’ eyes flicked over to Jace, who was still resolutely observing the ceiling, ignoring the moans that were starting to come from the bed.

“There has to be a reason you’re here, you know. Why Alec’s mind brought us here.” Magnus reminded him.

“I don’t know, okay? I don’t know why Alec’s mind wants me to watch you guys have sex. That’s private. I wouldn’t want to watch Izzy have sex with anyone either. They’re my siblings. Abstractedly I know they have sex, and that’s all I need to know. If they’re happy and being safe, then I really honestly don’t give a shit.”

Magnus fixed him with a pointed look, even though it was getting harder and harder to ignore what was happening on the bed. Magnus could almost feel all of those same sensations again, the feeling of Alec’s hand on him, how sweet and determined he was to make sure that Magnus had a good time, that Magnus would remember this, even in the face of 17,000 other lovers.

As if Magnus could ever forget him.

“Do you have an issue with me?” Magnus asked. “If it isn’t that your brother is having sex, or that your brother is having sex with a man, then the problem has to be me.”

“Why would I have to have a problem with you? I already told you, water under the bridge, we’re cool. Maybe we’re here because of you. After all, you’re the one in the bed over there. Is there anything about that night that you’d change? That Alec would want to change?”

“I wouldn’t change a damn thing. It was perfect and incredible. By Lilith, why am I saying this to you? I don’t need to justify my sex life to you. I love your brother. Intensely. More than words can say. It scares me sometimes, just how much I love him, okay?” Magnus was almost yelling, and it still shocked him that the figures on the bed were completely tuning them out.

“Then prove it!” Jace yelled back, eyes wide as he realized what he’d said.

“Excuse me?” Magnus asked delicately, almost primly, as he tried to restrain the anger that was beginning to well up inside of him.

“Everything - so many of the things that have happened recently - Alec’s proved just how much he loves you. After the massacre with the Soul Sword, he told you that he loved you first. When you broke the Accords and helped the Seelie Queen break into the Institute, Alec knew what had happened right away, and the first words out of his mouth were to not harm you, no matter what. He took that beating and said he still loved you, no matter what. He went through that angel trial for the Clave, to again prove how much he loved you and to protect you from them. He’s been proving he loves you every step of the way, and you haven’t done a goddamn thing to reciprocate it.”

Magnus was stunned. Not only that, but equal parts furious, horrified and terrified. For he knew where dreams could lead them if they responded too much to what was being said. He took a moment to close his eyes and compose his thoughts before opening them again, facing Jace with righteous fury in his blazing golden eyes but an almost clinically cold voice.

“May I remind you, Jace Herondale, that I am not a Shadowhunter. Fighting demons is not my job. I hate the Clave, and most of the people in it. They have slaughtered my people for centuries and even on a good day I see little difference between them and Valentine. And yet I’ve put _everything_ on the line for _your_ brother and _your_ people, over and over again, for the past few months. I’ve lost countless friends, people I consider family, to _your_ war. And of the ones I haven’t lost to violence, many are skeptical and distrustful of me now that I love your brother, just because he is a Shadowhunter. So do not doubt my love for him. Once we get out of here, I will be more than happy to show you any proof that you require. In the meantime, I _highly_ recommend we return our attention to Alexander and what he needs from us to be able to wake up.”

“Ever thought that maybe this conversation is what he needs to wake up?” Jace pressed on.

“Jace, please. Let this go for now. Before we both end up in a situation that we’ll regret.”

“What are you so afraid of facing?” Jace asked.

As if on cue, the room flickered, and within moments, they weren’t in the comfort of Magnus’ bedroom anymore. They were where the elevator should have taken them - deep deep down in the Institute’s cells.

Magnus found himself back in the torture chair, and as his own reflection stared back at him from the glass, not Valentine’s, he screwed his eyes shut. Trying not to let the sheer terror of being back in this cell, helpless, overwhelm him. Trying not to let memories crawl back to the surface to drown him in darkness once again.

After a few deep breaths, he opened his eyes again, finding Jace, standing a few paces off, but looking over Magnus’ shoulder at something he couldn’t see, expression full of horror.

“I didn’t mean it like this!” Jace exclaimed, eyes wide. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I get it, you’re in love. You don’t have to doubt it. Please don’t doubt it. He loves you.” Magnus was confused for a moment, why Jace would be saying that to him, but Jace wasn’t looking at him, he was looking over Magnus’ shoulder. “You don’t have to do this, Alec.” Jace begged.

Magnus went to turn his head, but before he could, Alec suddenly appeared by his left side, expression carefully schooled to neutral. He clutched a stele in his hand.

“Alexander.” Magnus whispered.

Alec didn’t say anything, he just looked down at Magnus in the chair, fingers twisting around the stele.

_This is a dream._ Magnus reminded himself. _Images and metaphors and fragments of a person’s personality. Light and dark. Love and cruelty. My Alec would never do this to me consciously._

_But he did,_ a dark voice whispered in the back of his mind. _But he did._

_Alec didn’t put any Agony runes on me that day._ Magnus yelled back at the voice. _But he still feels responsible for it. He runed himself in punishment for what happened that day. I would never have asked that from him. Never would I ask something like that._

_And yet he’s asking you for it again._ The voice teased darkly. _Perhaps he does doubt your love._

_Then I’ll do whatever I have to to prove it to him. I owe him that much._ Magnus promised himself.

“Alexander.” Magnus whispered again, looking up at him. “It’s me. Magnus.”

“I know who you are. But do you know who I am?”

“You’re the man that I love.”

“You say that when I say it. But do you really?”

“I do. Anything you want of me, just take it. If any of it will help. It won’t change that I love you. If this is what you need to convince yourself, then take it. I will still love you.”

“We’ll see.”

Alec pressed his stele to Magnus’ arm, and Magnus could feel the burning pain of the Agony rune rushing back into him, but he never took his eyes off of Alec. He thought of the memory of his mother, and his stepfather, but he felt - almost light. Those memories weren’t coming to bother him anymore. They weren’t pressing in on him, threatening to turn his life back into self-hatred and darkness.

Which meant that he had a new worst memory. Or worst fear. Magnus resisted the urge to squeeze his eyes shut, resisted the urge to try and hide from it, and kept looking at Alec, willing him to pull them out of this, their shared worst memory.

Wait. Was that what it was? Magnus wondered. Had all their fears and memories been replaced with this, thus always bringing them back to this room? Magnus’ memory of Alec hurting him being his most devastating memory, and Alec’s - the memory of being the one to hurt him.

Magnus stared at Alec, trying to communicate this just through his gaze, since the pain burning in his veins prevented him from coherent speech. Alec finished the rune, and gasped, eyes full of fear as he stumbled - as if he were shoved - back from the chair. Magnus looked at his hands, but he knew they were still firmly tied down, he wouldn’t be capable of any magic in this state, or even in the dream realm, so why -

“What is it?” Magnus asked, throat finally working. “What’s wrong?”

Alec looked at the backs of his hands and frowned, then reached a hand up to his hair, looking into the glass of the cell in front of them at his reflection.

“What’s happening to me?” He demanded to know, turning back to Magnus. Magnus looked at him closer, and he could see fine age lines appearing on the backs of his hands, crow’s feet by his eyes and - was that grey hair at his temples?

“I don’t know.” Magnus said. “I don’t know. I didn’t do anything. I can’t. I wouldn’t.”

Alec’s eyes blazed in fury, and he pressed the stele to Magnus’ arm again, igniting the Agony rune, and again stumbling back as the pain lanced through Magnus’ body, no visions of the past forming in his mind, only the very real present in front of him.

Alec was aging. _But how?_ Magnus thought. _But why? Alec’s immortal now. Or as near to immortal as he can be, why - why am I seeing him age?_

Then it hit him like a sledgehammer. This _was_ his worst fear - not that they’d hurt each other again in some simple mundane way, but - but in such a painful irrevocable way that would create the circumstances through which Alec would now age.

Which would mean - loss of love. For even if he did, now, have the love of his family and friends - what would happen when they all passed from the earth, and Magnus was the only constant that remained in his life? What if after a mortal lifetime, maybe two, he feared that Magnus would get sick of him and leave?

It could be a death sentence.

Magnus tried to gather his scattered thoughts, looking at Alec, looking at how he’d now aged more - the grey hair at his temples remained, but he was starting to bald, and his crow’s feet were even more pronounced.

“What are you doing to me?” Alec growled.

“I’m not doing anything.” Magnus breathed. “I - I know what you fear, Alexander. You fear loss. You fear - losing love. Losing me, losing your family, all of the people you care about. You fear what that would do to you. What that could turn you into. But you don’t need to fear that. There are people who love and care about you, Alec. Who won’t leave you. I won’t leave you. While there is breath in my body, I will not leave you. I love you now, and if I pass from this earth, I will still love you after that. There is no world in which I will not love you.”

Tears were streaming down Magnus’ face, not from the pain of the Agony rune still searing on his arm, but from the force of the emotions coursing through him. He needed Alec to see. To understand. Magnus vowed to himself that when they woke from this dream realm, he would do everything he could to show Alec just how much he loved him.

“How can you promise that?” Alec asked through gritted teeth, as he moved forward and pressed his stele to the rune again, this time grabbing onto Magnus’ arm so he couldn’t get thrown back, and Magnus watched the aging marks on Alec’s skin deepen, his hair grey and disappear, from right up close. “How can you promise anything? You can’t see the future.”

“There is no future for me without you in it.” Magnus said, looking up at Alec with tear-filled eyes. “Not anymore.”

Magnus pulled at the straps binding his other arm, and to his surprise his arm slipped free. He chose to believe that it was a sign he was getting through to Alec, even as his stele still burned into the Agony rune and Alec’s skin grew more and more wrinkled, age spots beginning to appear.

Magnus used his free hand to draw Alec in front of him, pulling their foreheads together, and Magnus could see tears in his eyes as well, and feel the stele begin to tremble and slip, searing his skin beyond the bounds of the Agony rune.

“I love you, Alexander. I love you. And I am going to spend every day of my life proving that to you. I’m sorry if I haven’t done a good job of it. But I will. I promise. I. Love. _You_.”

When Alec didn’t pull back from his grasp - and now he looked almost as old as any person Magnus had ever seen - Magnus tilted his head up more, pulling Alec in by his now frail-feeling shoulder, and kissed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, ow, that hurt. I could use some love after that. I'm sure you could too? Much love to all of you <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus and Jace begin to understand Alec’s dreamscape, and learn what happened in New York with Max and Isabelle to send them there. Maryse realizes how close she came to losing all of her children in one night, and resolves to always choose love over fear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you'll see the chapter count has ticked up by one - no, this story hasn't grown extra legs, I just don't know how to count. It has always had eight chapters, and I only noticed this week that I'd been counting them wrong. Oops.

A blast of energy shook them, thrumming down to their very bones, and when Magnus opened his eyes again, he was on his back on the floor of the Ops Centre, Jace standing beside him.

Magnus sat up slowly, wiping the remnants of the tears off of his face, deliberately looking away from Jace.

“I’m sorry.” Jace said. “I - I know you warned me. I’m sorry I kept pushing it. Just like for Alec, that - that must have been one of your worst memories. I get it, you’ll do anything for him, including reliving that day. I should have listened to you.”

“You could have listened to me.” Magnus said heavily. “And I promise you, I will prove it back in the real world. How much I love him. But that’s not what this was about, Jace.”

“Yeah, what was with the aging? That was creepy.”

“Alexander fears losing everyone he loves. And with everything that has happened - his transformation, mainly - it is an even more present fear in his mind.”

“What? What would the transformation do to - oh.” Jace sat down heavily on the floor next to Magnus. “You - you mean he’s immortal now? Because he’s part warlock?”

“Well, there isn’t a way we can test that for certain. But given how his magic works, what it responds to and what it doesn’t - yes, we are pretty certain that he’s immortal. But with a caveat.”

“Love. What you were talking about back there.”

Magnus nodded. “Precisely. While that still wouldn’t be a problem for him in a mortal lifespan - he’d just age the way you saw in the cell - if we live happily ever after for several mortal lifetimes - then he could die in the blink of an eye if he loses love.”

“Loses you, you mean. Since he’ll already have lost all of us.”

“Alec could certainly make new attachments. Generations of your family into the future, as it were. It wouldn’t be solely reliant on me - though I do of course hope that I would still be a part of his life. I wouldn’t want that to end. I love him.”

“Yeah yeah. But Alec’s a Shadowhunter, born and raised. Death isn’t something we fear, not like others do, because we know it will be an eventuality, often sooner rather than later. That’s the life we live.”

“But it isn’t death that Alec fears.”

“I don’t get it - losing us, sure, that’ll be horrible no matter what side of it we’re on, but - loss happens. Death happens. Why is that his biggest fear?”

“It isn’t - not like that. I’m not talking about losing immortality or the loss of specific people. But rather what Alec would be in a world where the ones he loves aren’t there anymore. For him, that would mean that he’s failed. Failed at everything he held dear - protecting the ones he loves. It isn’t the result of losing love that he fears, because you’re right, he doesn’t fear death - but he fears what would cause it.”

“Oh.” Jace was silent, picking at the shoelaces of his boots.

“I’m starting to understand what’s going on in here.” Magnus said.

“Care to share?”

“I - I’ll try to figure out how to put it into words. But I’m not sure how much psychology you know.”

Jace shrugged. “Don’t get too technical. But I understand how people function.”

“Well, then you know that we each have our conscious mind and our unconscious mind. The conscious mind, that which we actively use and reason with, and then our unconscious mind - the part of our minds that we’re not actively aware of, but that still influences how we operate.”

“Sure.”

“Both of these scenarios we’ve gone through - we were both reassuring Alec’s unconscious mind that we weren’t going to leave him. That we love him no matter what. The conscious part of his mind, that which he is actively aware of, knows that. But deep down inside of him, there’s still that scared boy who has the weight of the world on his shoulders, who will do whatever he can for the people he loves, but never believing that it is enough, or that he’s enough, but still feeling that it is always his responsibility - but never believing that someone else would do the same for him.”

“But we would. We would do all of that for him.”

“Exactly. And if we asked him in the real world, he might even say it and believe it too. But his unconscious mind doesn’t. At least, not entirely. Not yet.”

“So that’s our mission? Make his unconscious mind believe that he’s not alone, that he has people that care about him?”

“Something like that. We’ve already demonstrated it in these two scenarios. Well, either we did or I’m completely off-base and his mind was giving up and throwing us back here because we screwed it up so badly. But I don’t think we did. I do think we’re on the right track.”

Jace nodded. “So what next? Back to the elevator? See where it will take us?”

“Not this time boys.” came Isabelle’s voice.

* * *

After Gurak’s pronouncement, the Inquisitor had acquiesced to letting time take its course, and took up a seat next to Jace, staring daggers over the beds at Maryse, who sat across from her on Magnus’ side. The Inquisitors’ guards, given no further direction, hovered by the door of the infirmary. Clary, who had returned to the infirmary with Catarina in tow, sat on the bed at Jace and Alec’s feet, looking between them and the Inquisitor. Maryse did not fail to notice the blade tucked into the back of the redhead’s belt, or the looks of barely concealed disgust that she shot at the Inquisitor.

Maryse had a few looks of her own to share with the Inquisitor, and none of them pleasant. She sat there, eyes on the beds and the Inquisitor, and thought of how in the space of mere hours she had come so close to losing all four of her children.

Max, now safely asleep upstairs, who had regaled Helen and Aline with a story of Alec rescuing him by letting him out of the shipping container he’d been trapped in, before the girls found him. How that could have been possible given the story that Clary had described, Maryse didn’t know, but her youngest had always had an active imagination.

Isabelle, gravely injured but healed by Alec using magic that Maryse couldn’t hope to understand, fiercely protective of brothers both older and younger. Maryse’s heart ached at just how much of that protection had needed to be from _her_.

Jace, not her son by blood, but still in her heart, and now tasked with bringing his brother and parabatai out of a fever dream that she could do nothing to help with, save for protect them both from forces that would wish them ill.

And Alec… her eldest, who Maryse had put so many hopes in, who was now exceeding all of them in ways that she couldn’t have even dreamed of. Accomplishing everything she’d dreamed of when she was his age, the creation of a better world, but doing so with love and compassion rather than the fear and hate that had consumed her youth.

Maryse would watch over all of them for as long as she needed to, to make sure they would be safe from harm. Safe from the Inquisitor, safe from the Clave. Because while Maryse had toed the Clave’s line for two decades, her long-dormant fire of rebellion was reawakening - only this time, instead of being stirred by Valentine’s fiery speeches full of self-righteousness and hate, she heard only Alec’s quiet peace and commitment to love and doing right by the people that he loved.

Love would win, of that Maryse was certain.

* * *

Magnus and Jace scrambled to their feet, turning to follow Isabelle’s voice. They found her leaning up against the wall next to the doors leading to the training rooms.

“Are we on the right track?” Magnus asked.

“Are you making progress towards helping Alec, you mean?” Isabelle responded.

Jace rolled his eyes. “Leave it to cocky Alec to respond to questions with questions.”

“Hey.” Isabelle’s eyes went dark. “You want to help him? You want to help all of us? It might not be as easy as you’ve had it so far.”

“What are you saying?” Magnus asked cautiously.

“You don’t know what’s transpired in New York since you both left him. You don’t know what’s happened. What took him to where he is now.”

“We don’t.” Jace said. “But we were on important missions.”

“No doubt you were. But you need to know and understand what’s brought you here. You need to know how to distinguish truth from nightmares.”

Isabelle turned her head to look through the open door of the training room, gazing into it with a blank look, and Magnus and Jace began to hear sounds of war and screams within.

“Find the truth.” Isabelle said. “You might not like what you see. But you need to know. You need to be sure.”

By the time Magnus and Jace made it to the training room door, Isabelle had vanished, only the sounds of screams and clanging swords remained.

Jace made to enter, but Magnus grabbed his elbow. “Remember, most of what is in there is not true.” Magnus cautioned. “Don’t let it pull you in. We might not know what’s going on back in New York, what caused all of this, but - this is where a lot of Alec’s worst nightmares will be hiding. Don’t let them deceive you.”

Jace nodded, and they proceeded into the training room.

Contrary to the soundtrack that they’d heard outside, the training room actually looked… peaceful. Several scenes were taking place all at once, of Alec with Max and Isabelle at different stages of their lives - the scene with Isabelle stealing the whip that they’d heard mention of earlier, Alec smiling broadly as Max took his first steps, Alec giving Isabelle her first lessons with a seraph blade, among others.

Everywhere, Alec kept a watchful eye on his younger siblings, giving them free reign to do as they wanted, but always ready to catch them if they were about to fall or hurt themselves. They even saw Alec shrug off a number of painful unintentional injuries, such as when Isabelle accidentally caught Alec in the arm with a blade, which even required medics to stitch up along with a healing rune, and the whole time Alec was comforting Isabelle, reassuring her that he was just fine.

As they watched, the scenarios began to shift, getting darker and darker - now instead of Alec helping Isabelle and Max with their training, Alec was desperately trying to save them from worse and worse situations. Shax demons rearing up in front of a baby Max, Circle members carrying away a teenage Isabelle, and each time Alec could do nothing to stop it, no matter how much he tried.

“Magnus…” Jace whispered. “I don’t like this. I don’t like this at all. What this is implying - find the truth within the nightmare - that while this is playing through all sorts of horrible scenarios - some of these have actually happened. Something here is why Alec is unconscious. Somewhere here is the reason. I can feel it.”

“You think something happening - or something threatening - Max or Isabelle is what put Alec in this state?”

“It would make sense, wouldn’t it? I can’t think of many other scenarios where Alec would just let someone take his runes. He’d fight them before he ever let that happen.”

Magnus nodded slowly, a look of horror dawning over his face. “So whoever did it… must have had leverage.”

“Exactly.”

The scenarios were shifting ever more rapidly now, as Jace and Magnus walked in between them, puzzling each out, to try and discern what was real and what was fake. Some they could discount immediately - Max and Isabelle weren’t children anymore - but that still left them with no end of possible scenarios. An unconscious and bleeding Max at the foot of Isabelle’s bed. A terrified Isabelle bound and gagged before the Seelie Queen. Sebastian holding a knife to Max’s throat -

“Wait a second.” Jace said, surveying the scene with Sebastian. “He works at the Institute. A transfer from London. Sebastian. He helped Izzy get off the yin fen. But Alec’s always been suspicious of him.”

“He was right to be.” Magnus said darkly. “You - the Inquisitor took you to Idris so fast, you didn’t know - that is not actually a Shadowhunter named Sebastian. That’s Jonathan.”

Jace whirled to face Magnus. “Jonathan? You mean Clary’s biological brother, who was raised by Valentine, just like I was? The one with demon blood, who everyone thought was me for awhile?”

“The very same. The Angel told Alec that during the trial, just like he told him about how you could reveal Circle members.”

“It has to be him then.” Jace looked around at the other scenarios. “It has to be. Jonathan - I mean, if he’s been under Valentine’s control this whole time - it has to be him. That must be real. Everything else is too mundane, too clean. That one - that’s more calculated. And designed especially to cause Alec pain. Make him suffer and be willing to give up anything to stop something from happening to Max or Izzy.”

“Including his runes.” Magnus mused. “You’re right. But…”

“But? There’s a but?”

“There’s always a but. This room isn’t just about Max. Isabelle is everywhere too. There has to be something involving her here as well. I hate to suggest it, but…”

“You’re right.” Jace said, eyes panicked now as he looked around more, looking for some hint of Isabelle, Isabelle with Jonathan, or at least Isabelle as she was now, not as a child. There were a variety of options, but none that made Jace be able to confidently say yes, this is the one that could be real. The idea as a whole was too terrible to contemplate.

Watching his frantic eyes and erratic movements, Magnus could start to see panic setting into Jace. That wouldn’t help them. Magnus cared about Isabelle, and Max as well, especially since they were so important to Alec, but he knew they needed to keep level heads.

“Jace. Jace, listen to me. We need to think this rationally. You can’t let yourself get overwhelmed.”

“She’s my sister too, Magnus. And each of these scenarios just looks worse than the next, and by the Angel, just tell me this isn’t real. Tell me these are just figments. Please.”

“Most of them are. Remember that.” Magnus said steadily. “Just breathe with me. Breathe. I know as much as you do in this situation. One of them is true. And I know that is one too many. But that means the rest of them are false. Just figments. Alec’s worst fears brought to life in his nightmares. Just breathe.”

Jace slumped against a wall, sinking down to rest his head between his legs, trying to breathe as Magnus instructed him. As soon as he did, the air flickered and Alec appeared next to him, seated the same way, also struggling to keep his breaths steady and regular.

“What happened, Alexander?” Magnus asked gently. “Please tell us what we’re looking for.”

Alec looked up at him with a look of anguish. “I can’t. I failed. I failed them all. I just - I wanted to make the world a better place, I wanted to protect everyone, protect them, save them - but I couldn’t. Everything I did just made everything worse. I didn’t want to die because I wanted to be able to protect the people I care about - but maybe now it would have been better if I had. Better if I hadn’t challenged the limits of my Shadowhunter power, if I hadn’t challenged the Clave, if I hadn’t -” Alec began sobbing, and while Magnus looked to Jace for help, all Jace did was hug his brother and bury his face in Alec’s shoulder.

So Magnus was on his own with calming Alec down and finding out what happened. If things were dire, the longer they spent in the dream world, the more danger Max and Isabelle could be in. Not that he would say that to this vulnerable version of Alec, but he did need to pull him out somehow.

“Alexander.” Magnus said softly, resting his hand on Alec’s shoulder. “Alexander. Please listen to me. Please tell us what happened. Please.”

“I - Jonathan -”

“What about Jonathan?” Magnus spoke evenly, calmly, as softly as he could while still being heard over the clash and screams echoing around them.

“He - he attacked the patrol that Isabelle and Max were on.”

“How did you find that out?”

“Izzy… Izzy called me before she blacked out. Right after… right after you left for the Downworld meeting.” Alec lifted his head in confusion. “Wait - you’re supposed to be at the Downworld meeting. Even more people will die if you can’t organize the defense of Lake Lyn Magnus, you should be there, you can’t be here.”

“But I am here, Alexander. I need to help you. Before I came here, I was at the meeting. I told them what I needed to tell. Now they just need to decide what to do. They don’t need me for that. I need to be here to help you instead.”

Alec shook his head. “No. It’s not worth it. Why help me with all the bad things I’ve caused?”

“What bad things did you cause, Alexander?”

“Izzy’s hurt - she - when we found her she was barely breathing. She had a big wound in her side. But I healed her.”

“You healed her, Alexander. That’s good.”

“But she wasn’t awake yet, I don’t know if she’ll wake up, I don’t know what happened to her after -”

“After what, Alexander?”

“Mom took her back to the Institute. With the other injured patrol team member. Ashdown. Two Shadowhunters were killed. Kingsmill and Bellefleur.”

“Why didn’t you go with them, Alexander?”

“I… I needed to find Max. When Izzy called me, she didn’t even say she was injured, she just said that the Circle members took Max. So Clary, Aline, Helen and I stayed to look for Max.”

“Earlier you said that Jonathan hurt Isabelle.”

“Yeah - I found out - he was glamoured as a Circle member.”

“How did you find out that he was glamoured?”

“He - I - while we were looking for Max, we saw Jonathan. We knew who he was, the Angel told me, and he didn’t seem to have Max at the time, so I thought it would be best if we split up - Clary and I went to confront Jonathan, to keep him away from Max, while Helen and Aline went to look for him.”

“What happened next?”

“I… it got fuzzy. Jonathan - I don’t know what he did. But I woke up chained up in a warehouse or shipping container, I don’t know exactly where.”

Jace pulled away from Alec and sat up straight, Magnus saw out of the corner of his eye that his eyes were back on Magnus, hopefully meaning that he was back in the game rather than getting lost in Alec’s fears.

“What happened to Clary?” Jace asked.

“She - she was there too. But she was still out. She - she didn’t see or hear anything that happened next.” Alec took a shaky breath, trying to compose himself. Jace still gripped one of his shoulders tightly.

“What did you see then, Alexander?” Magnus urged him onward.

“I… Jonathan was there. He - he had Max.” Alec let out a long breath. “At - at least that’s what he said. Maybe that’s even what he believed. I don’t know. But he - he wanted me to tell him about the ritual.”

“Which ritual?” Jace asked.

“The ritual that - that made me what I am now. Part Shadowhunter, part warlock.”

“Because he could undergo a similar transformation.” Magnus continued. “The angel said that.”

Alec nodded shakily. “Yeah. But - but he doesn’t have the same love and the same bonds that I do. He doesn’t have other Shadowhunters or warlocks who would stand in the same places you two did. He - he doesn’t have love.” He grimaced, as if he was in pain. “And - he had a knife to Max’s throat. I knew that he couldn’t do the ritual, he - he doesn’t have the love in his life like I do. So I told him. Not everything, but enough that he was satisfied. Or - I thought he was. Then he cut off my binding runes.” Alec grimaced again, pressing his hands to his abdomen, which Magnus now saw was bleeding.

“Was that enough? Did he let you and Max go then?” Jace asked.

Alec shook his head. “He - he said it was enough. But - then he stabbed Max through the heart.” Alec sobbed again, burying his face in Jace’s shoulder. “I… I was full of so much rage that I broke the adamas chains. Threw Jonathan across the room with my magic. He impaled on a pipe of some kind.”

“Max is dead?” Jace whispered, disbelieving.

“No.” Alec shook his head. “No - it wasn’t him.”

“Who was it, Alexander?” Magnus asked.

“It - it was the Seelie Queen. She - she said she wanted to know about the ritual too. She wanted to know how I’d beat her and her demonic powder. Then she took Jonathan’s body and disappeared. Clary woke up - and - and then I was here.” Alec looked around at all of the nightmarish visions surrounding them.

“So Max is safe?” Jace asked.

“I don’t know.” Alec whispered, a vacant look in his eyes as he stared into the nightmares. “I - I still failed him. I don’t know where he is. I don’t know if Izzy has woken up. I - all I ever wanted to do was protect them.”

“And you will, Alexander.” Magnus said, rubbing his thumb along Alec’s jaw. “You will. Like I’ve said to you before - you’ll blow up the very ground you stand on to make things right. Izzy and Max love you. They know you’ll do anything for them. They know you love them. But you know what they need?”

“What?”

“They need their big brother. To be out there, where they are. Not trapped in here. So I’m going to need you to stand up. Come with me.” Magnus stood and reached his hand out to Alec, who took it hesitantly.

Jace stood with them, and followed as Magnus led Alec to the vision of Isabelle getting attacked by Circle members. Alec winced as he watched Isabelle take a seraph blade to the side. The last part of the vision before it looped back to the beginning was Isabelle dropping to the ground, bloody and faintly breathing, as her phone slipped from her fingers and her eyes closed.

“Alexander, listen to me.” Magnus said sternly, holding both of his shoulders. “You have the power to stop this. You have the power to fix this. Reach into this vision, and when you do, remember how you healed her. Remember how you saved her. Pull yourself into the vision, correct it, heal her and stop the loop.”

“Okay. Okay.” Alec took a deep breath, pulling back from Magnus. He observed the vision closely, following along to the point where the Circle members disappeared out of view. As soon as they did, Alec reached a glowing golden hand into the vision, pulling himself through it, crouching next to Isabelle. A golden light enveloped her. Her wound closed up, and she sat up groggily.

“Alec?” Isabelle whispered, as Alec kissed her forehead and pulled her close.

“I’m here.” Alec murmured. “You’re safe now.”

“I love you, big bro.”

“I love you too, Izzy.”

The vision flickered out, leaving Alec crouching on a dark patch of ground, other visions still playing themselves over and over again, even if the loop on that one had stopped.

“Good.” Magnus said. “Now the other one. Find Max. Save Max.”

Alec looked around at the other visions, many of the others with Isabelle starting to go dark, leaving only the swirls of visions of Max. He saw the one with Jonathan holding a knife to his throat, and shook his head.

“No. Can’t be that one. That isn’t - that wasn’t Max. That’s not real. It isn’t real.” Alec got to his feet, looking around frantically through the visions, walking back and forth between them, Jace and Magnus trailing him.

Finally, Alec stopped at once that looked mostly innocuous, except for the initial moments when Max was thrown into a shipping container by Circle members. To his credit, Max didn’t look scared at all, just determined as he searched every crevice of the shipping container, trying to find a way to escape it.

Alec broke into a smile. “That’s Max all right.” Alec reached into the vision, reaching for the shipping container doors, a golden orb of magic disengaging the locks on the outside. Max almost fell out the door, but Alec was there, catching him.

“Hey, buddy. Careful.”

“You found me.”

“I always will, Max. I always will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The big question: How could Alec have helped Max if he was unconscious at the time? Did Max imagine him, or was he actually there? There could be mysteries about Alec’s abilities that even Alec isn’t fully aware of yet ;) Thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus and Jace revisit the memory of the night where everything changed, and Alec opens up about exactly when he decided to make the choices he is now making.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What? It isn't the weekend and I'm updating? Yes! I wanted to finish this one before Christmas, because there's a very special (happy!) one-shot that comes next in this series that I want to release for Christmas, so I'm going to speed up the posting of this one a touch ;)

Magnus was no longer surprised when the next moment he opened his eyes, they were once again in the Ops Centre, though this time he and Jace had come through standing next to each other.

Jace glanced at the elevator, the training room - looking for some sort of guidance, but none appeared to be forthcoming. He pressed his hand to his rune, wincing a bit, but at least it was no longer bleeding.

Magnus looked at his hand, where the blood had also crusted over the rune. He looked back to Jace.

“I - I think we should go to Alec’s office.” Magnus said carefully. “It hasn’t been his office for long, so the options of what it could be - I - I think I know.”

“Whatever it is, we’ll deal with it. We’ll help him. That’s what we’re here for. However long it takes, right?”

Magnus nodded. “Yeah. I just - I hope - I mean, I hate seeing him in pain.”

“I hear you. It has been happening too often, for too long. But we won’t let it anymore after this, right?”

“Right.”

They walked down the hall to Alec’s office - the office of the Head of the Institute. Because despite all that had happened, it was something that Alec had, by some miracle, managed to hold onto.

As they stepped in the door, Magnus was reminded of just what one of those miracles had been, and he felt all of those same emotions welling up inside of him.

Before him, as he had expected, stood he and Alec, arguing about the Soul Sword. How Alec hadn’t told him. He watched himself storm out of the office, and Alec slump down into his desk chair, cradling his head in his hands. Magnus had been too wrapped up in his own feelings of rage and fury the first time that he’d missed the look of utter devastation on Alec’s face as he watched Magnus leave, and then just collapse as he made it to his chair.

“You didn’t pay attention to this before, did you?” Jace asked, elbowing Magnus in the side.

“I didn’t. I was just - I was so angry. I couldn’t believe that Alec had withheld something like that from me.”

“I don’t think he meant to. And how he did - it wasn’t what you thought, Magnus. He didn’t - the reason he didn’t tell you, it had nothing to do with not trusting you. With not caring about you.”

“I know that now.” Magnus said quietly, not looking at Jace, instead seeing the exhausted, world-weary sight of his boyfriend silently weeping into his hands. Magnus couldn’t see the tears, but he did see Alec’s shoulders shaking.

“I think he would have told you.” Jace said. “He - he still needed some time to think it all through. The position that he was in, Magnus, just think - if the Clave had found out that you told him, they - who knows what they would have done to him.”

“Alec doing something to save his own ass?” Magnus barked out in a dry laugh. “Doesn’t sound like him.”

“And it isn’t. He wasn’t - Magnus, he wasn’t looking to save his own ass. It wasn’t because of politics, it was - he needs this office. Not - not for its own sake. Not for the prestige. But for what he can _do_ with it. From here, he can protect the rest of us if we do something not _quite_ by the rules. He can’t make the changes he wants to, he can’t shove them down the Clave’s throat the way he _needs_ to, if he doesn’t have the respect of this office. But from here - they have to listen to him, at least somewhat. It is still a battle, but - it is easier. Easier than it was when were were trying to do good with the Cave cockblocking us the whole way before. All Alec wanted to do was figure out a way, figure out a plan, how he could deal with the Soul Sword problem himself, before he went to burden you with it. Does that sound like the Alec you know?”

“That does, yes. And I should’ve figured that out, and I did eventually - but it still took until after the Seelie Queen did what she did to realize that.”

Jace nodded. “So - what do we do here? What do we see here? Is there - is there something we need to do?”

“I don’t know.” Magnus watched Alec’s shoulders shake a few more times, before he took some deep breaths, wiping away his tears and standing up. He began to pace his office, the emotions plain on his face switching between sorrow, fear and frustration, once even slamming his fist down on the desk. His phone rang out with a shrill sound, and he answered it with Luke’s name.

“Luke called him.” Magnus observed. “After we left the Court.”

“Well, after he left the Court, yes. You were still there, near as I remember it. Because after Alec got that call, he got me, Izzy and Clary and we were headed out to your place. That’s why we weren’t here when you arrived with the Seelie Queen.”

“Makes sense. But then you came back.”

“Alert on Alec’s phone told him the wards were down. And he knew right away that it was you. It’s like he expected you to be angry like that. Furious in a way that none of us had ever seen.”

Magnus shrugged. “Everyone has their limits. I’m generally very patient, but it was this evening here where my patience with Alec snapped. After everything we’d been through - I was ready to just give it all up, no matter how strong my feelings for him, because he just wasn’t getting the message. He - do you know how much that hurt?”

“I have some idea. You were going through an already hard time, and then harder things kept going on top of it.”

“I just… I try to remind myself that this is his first relationship. And not only that, but I’ve got many mortal lifetimes’ worth of experience.”

“It doesn’t all come down to relationship experience though.” Jace pointed out. “Some of it is just dealing with people, and if both of you keep putting it down to ‘relationship experience’, you’re not looking at what the real problem is.”

“And what is the real problem, then, if you’re so wise?” Magnus couldn’t explain it, but Jace’s words needled him and he had to do his best not to snap at the other man.

“Human experience.” Jace said. “Angel knows I’m no paragon of example here, but - you’re both very - you’re very alike. Which means neither of you like putting your problems on other people. You don’t want to hurt people, so you try dealing with things yourselves, but sometimes that backfires because you should be asking for help. And you also have a martyr complex, not unlike Alec’s. You both hurt and you both hide it.”

“Is that another thing you sensed, but Alec didn’t tell?”

“Back to the whole you telling Alec whatever was up with your Agony rune experience? Yeah. And you’d think that because both of you are so good at hiding your hurts, that that would backfire when you’re together, and you would see each other for who you really are, without all of those walls in between.”

“We do. More than most people, anyway. And ever since all of this, it has gotten even more intense. So you could say that’s something we’re working on.”

“Good. But that - that can’t be all of it? Otherwise we wouldn’t be here.”

“Maybe I just needed to see Alec’s side of it. Maybe we can go now.”

Magnus tried to step back through the door out into the hallway, but he couldn’t. There was clearly still something that he needed to see, that they needed to address. He sighed in frustration.

“Nope, we’re not going anywhere.”

Jace flopped onto the couch, and now the Alec in the room looked at him. “Jace. I need you to come with me.”

“Yeah, yeah, we need to go see Magnus. I know. I get it.”

“I’m right here, Alexander.” Magnus said, wondering if he’d now be visible as well, but Alec didn’t register him and remained oblivious.

“Do you know what I’ve done?” Alec said tightly. “Do you know what I did to him? I don’t know if he’ll ever forgive me - but - I have to try.” Alec’s voice broke and wavered on the last word.

“You didn’t tell him about the Soul Sword. I know. But what would have telling him accomplished besides open war? You know as well as I do that…”

“No.” Alec said, slamming his fist down on the table. “This is never about that. I - I hate this fucking Clave problem. Yes, the Clave is a problem. And it is a problem that I have to deal with, that I will figure out how to deal with now, because I don’t want the Downworld to keep getting screwed over by them. All this Shadowhunter business, it - it just keeps getting innocent Downworlders hurt and I won’t stand for it. I know the Clave doesn’t give a damn about keeping them safe, so I have to - and I should’ve known that telling the truth about the Soul Sword - not just to Magnus, but to all of them - would be the first step to showing them they can trust me, and that I’m ready to say fuck the Clave and stand with them instead.”

“So this is when Alec decided.” Magnus said thoughtfully. “This is - I mean, he’s been frustrated with them before, but it was only now that he decided he would take it that far if he had to.”

Jace twisted around to look at Magnus. “What do you mean?”

Magnus looked at what Alec’s response to Jace would be, but he didn’t appear to register that Jace was speaking to someone else.

“Right, you’ve been in Idris. You don’t know what’s been happening in New York. Jace, the Angel - the Angel told Alec where the Mortal Mirror is. What the Mortal Mirror is. And Alec told the Downworld leaders instead of the Clave. That’s why I was at the Downworlder summit in the Spiral Labyrinth.”

“The Clave will not be happy when they find out.”

“Remember what he just said - Alec just said fuck the Clave. And he means it. The past few days - it has come up a number of times. Alec intends to leave the Clave. Will you go with him?”

“Of course I will. If - if he can find a way to do it without the Clave killing us all, while still maintaining - while still being able to hold some sort of power to prevent the Clave from going after the Downworld too - I’m with him, one hundred percent. So would everyone else - well, Clary, Izzy, at least. They’d definitely also leave the Clave, if it came between choosing between the Clave and Alec.”

Magnus had been balancing against whatever shield had been keeping them in the room, and suddenly he stumbled back into the hallway, catching himself before he hit the floor.

“Looks like that worked.” Magnus said. “He needed to know that you would support him. He knew he had to leave the Clave, but - but he wasn’t certain that his parabatai would. That’s the reassurance he needed.”

“I would - I would never leave him. Not over something like this. Not after - not after everything we’ve been through. Not ever. I thought I told him that earlier in this dream realm? How can he not know that?”

“This is a different scenario. And you’ve argued over Clave rules before. He’s told me. Hell, I’ve helped you break Clave rules without his knowledge.”

“Exactly. I’ve never put much stock in the Clave. So why would he think that I wouldn’t jump at any opportunity to leave them?”

“Things could be different for you now.” Magnus said quietly. “What with the Inquisitor being your grandmother and all.”

“Do you think I give a flying fuck about her?” Jace questioned, getting to his feet. “She - everything she’s been doing to Alec, the Downworld, just - never. She may be my blood, but Alec, and the Lightwoods, are my family. Not her.”

Alec did hear this last part, smiling a small smile, and suddenly registered Magnus as well. “Magnus…” He whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

Magnus moved back into the room, pulling Alec close to him. “I know, love. I know.”

“I just feel like - like anything I do to try and help just ends up hurting instead.”

“Sometimes being a leader feels like that.” Magnus admitted. “It is never easy. And sometimes you make the wrong call. But you’re making the right ones now. Remember this moment - this moment here where you decided that the people you cared about were more important than some far away ruling body that was making decisions that would frequently hurt those very same people you cared about. This moment where you decided that there was no working with them anymore, only - only damage control until you could figure out a way away from them.”

“Is it possible, Magnus? A world for us without the Clave?”

“I think you already know that.” Magnus said, tapping Alec’s forehead lightly with his fingers. “It is all in here. You’ve made the plans. You know that Jace and I love you and will stand by you. You know your other friends and family love you and need you in their lives, need you to keep making the good choices you’re making now. And they’ll stand by you just like we will, even if they’re not here to be able to say it. You know that, Alexander, deep in here.” Magnus rested his hand over Alec’s heart. “You know now that love is your most powerful weapon. With love, you’re not alone. You’ll never be alone, because I know you will never let love leave your heart.”

Alec regarded them both with a curious expression on his face. “This is a dream, isn’t it? I remember this moment, this moment in my office - before - and neither of you were here.”

“This is a dream. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t real. We are here, Alexander. This isn’t a normal dream.”

“What happened so that you’re both in my head with me?”

“The bonds, Alexander.” Magnus said softly. “Your bonds to us are so strong, you love us that much, that not having that physical tether - that which Jonathan tore away from you - is pulling us into you. We’re all unconscious. And I - you don’t need to let us go. Far from it. We are here and we are not leaving you. We would never. You don’t need to cling so tightly because we wouldn’t stay otherwise. We will stay, there’s nothing that would drive us away. So just breathe with us. Just breathe. Relax and breathe with us. That will let us go, release us back to the waking world, where we can tether you again, and bring you back as well.”

“You won’t leave?” Alec asked, face tear-stained, but his hand now moving to cradle Magnus’ jaw.

“We won’t leave.” Jace said firmly, coming up to hug Alec as well, burying his face in Alec’s shoulder.

“We’re always here with you.” Magnus affirmed.

Alec kissed Magnus gently, and sank into Jace’s embrace.

“Okay.” Alec said, voice wavering. “Okay. I - I want to believe you. I do. But - but I just need to be _sure._ ”

The floor fell out from under them, and they were all falling.

* * *

Maryse was sitting by the side of the beds, on Magnus’ side, tears streaking her face even as she glared daggers at the Inquisitor, who was across from her next to Jace. It had been three days since Clary had Portalled into the Institute with an unconscious and bleeding Alec, and all hell had broken loose when Raphael arrived with Magnus and the Inquisitor with Jace.

But Gurak said that they needed time, they needed to wait for Jace and Magnus to do what they needed to do in Alec’s mind, and then… then what? Maryse knew the only reason why the Inquisitor hadn’t murdered Alec in his sleep was because the Lightwoods had made sure to never leave her alone in the infirmary. And the Inquisitor hadn’t moved either, caught up in some delusion that despite her responsibilities, if Jace were left unsupervised by her, something terrible would happen to him.

Maryse fumed. As if Jace wasn’t her son too, as if she would do anything to hurt him. (She tried not to think about how she had, how she had threatened Jace, and disowned him to boot, and she swore now that she’d do better to be deserving of the trust he’d been willing to return to her).

She started as she felt a hand on her shoulder, relaxing once she looked up and saw that it was Isabelle. “Isabelle.” She said softly.

“Hi, Mom.” Isabelle looked at the beds. “Any change?”

“No.” Maryse stood, giving her daughter a hug. “I’m so worried.”

“They’ll find him, Mom. They will. No one knows Alec better than those two.”

“Except you. You kept his secrets for years. I understand now that you did.”

“I guess I did. And it made me feel special in some ways, that I was the only one who knew certain things about him. I was afraid that - that we’d grow up, and I’d lose him somehow. That I’d just be his little sister, and all sorts of people would replace me in his life. But love doesn’t work that way, does it? Love isn’t finite.”

“You’re right, it isn’t. We all have an infinite capacity to love, though few of us use it to its full potential.”

“But Alec does. That’s what has brought him here. I just hope love is enough to bring him out.”

“It will be.” Maryse glared over at the Inquisitor again, who sneered back. “I trust that it will be. If you let it - love can do anything. Alec’s proved that over and over again. So I believe it will be enough now too.”

As if on cue, Alec twitched hard, a harsh moan slipping from his lips, as he began shaking. His fingers dug into the mattress beneath him, feeling, as if searching for something.

“What’s going on?” Isabelle asked Catarina, who had been trading off watches with Gurak. “What’s happening?”

“He’s deep in the dream now. He knows they’re looking for him. So he’s looking for them.”

“Should we - I don’t know - make them hold hands or something? Would that help?” 

“It could. Certainly wouldn’t hurt.”

Isabelle reached over Magnus, moving his hand towards Alec’s trembling and searching one, letting his fingers feel Magnus’. As soon as he felt that contact, Alec took in a sharp breath, squeezing his fingers around Magnus’ hand, and Magnus began shaking as well.

“It’s working. It’s working, right?” Isabelle asked.

“Near as I can see it.”

As the Inquisitor wasn’t moving to connect Jace up to the other two, Isabelle vaulted over the beds and did it herself, shifting Jace’s hand closer to Alec’s, and bringing him into the connection.

“What do we do now?” She asked.

“We wait. He’s right on the precipice.” Catarina responded.

“What does that mean?” The Inquisitor demanded.

“The final battle is about to begin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So next chapter will be out on Friday, then I'll be leaving you in suspense over the weekend while I travel to Canada, and then you'll get the last one after I've settled in there ;)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus and Jace step into the deepest part of Alec’s unconscious mind, and are shocked by what - and who - they find there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who is the who? You'll have to read to find out ;) Enjoy my lovelies!

Magnus felt weightless as he fell, sensing Jace and Alec close to him. But as the darkness receded from his vision and the ground began to loom closer, he felt Alec’s presence disappear in a swirling vortex.

“ALEXANDER!” Magnus managed to shout, just before colliding shoulder-first with the hard ground.

Jace hit the ground next to him, rolling and coming back up on his feet in a fighter’s stance. As Magnus sat up, groaning and rubbing his shoulder, he looked back around them.

They were back out in the lonely desert that they had arrived in. The blowing sand stung Magnus’ face, the harsh orange sun illuminating the washed-out landscape of yellow and grey sand and ash.

“So either we’re doing well, and this is all almost over, or we’ve been sent back to the beginning, right?” Jace asked, reaching out a hand and helping Magnus get to his feet.

“It would seem that way.” Magnus dusted off his pants, wincing as the errant ash stung his palms before drifting away into the wind.

Wait. Why was seemingly innocuous sand and ash making his skin sting and blister?

“Oh no. No no no _no_.” Magnus whispered. “This is not good.”

“What? What is it?” Jace asked.

Magnus held one of his hands out to Jace so that he could see, see the blistered skin. “When was the last time you saw this happen? To me, that is?”

Jace looked at Magnus’ palm, furrowing his brow. “The night that the Seelie Queen whipped Alec and we did the ritual to transform him. There was that powder that the Seelie Queen had blown onto him. Why?”

“Do you remember why that powder hurt me?”

“Because it was from Edom, your demon father’s realm -” Jace’s eyes widened. “No - we can’t be in Edom. That wouldn’t make sense. We can’t go from a dream realm to a demon realm - right?”

“I felt it when we first arrived here.” Magnus said. “It didn’t sting as much as now, but - I still felt it.”

“We’re in a demon realm? Not Alec’s mind? But you were sure we were - have we been playing with demons this whole time? While Alec is suffering Angel knows where?”

“No, no. We are in Alec’s mind. This - this isn’t Edom. Not strictly speaking, anyway.”

“Magnus, just tell me what’s going on.”

“Alec said that he needed to be sure. Sure of us, sure of everyone, sure of his own capacity to love - I don’t know, but it doesn’t really matter. Because now we’re going to see beyond.”

“Beyond… beyond what? Like - into the future?”

“No. Beyond Alec’s worst fear.”

“But I thought we dealt with that already. That he fears losing everyone he loves. That he loses everyone because he’s failed. What - what could be beyond that?”

“We shall see.”

“And what does Edom have to do with any of it?”

“We’re about to find out.”

Magnus saw a dark shape coalesce into existence beyond a nearby crag of rock. Once the smoke dissipated, there was a dark castle, dripping in rich deep blood over black bricks and smoky ash, towers disappearing into the skies. The gates creaked open, as if welcoming them.

“We’re supposed to go in there?” Jace asked. “What - why would Alec create such a thing?”

“What happens when all hope is lost?” Magnus asked emotionlessly. “What happens when there’s no going back to what you once loved and cared about? When all that’s left is the void of darkness?”

“Sounds like you have some experience with this.”

Magnus looked up at Jace sharply. “When you’re a warlock with eternity staring you in the face, you do end up looking into that void from time to time. Sometimes, it even starts to look more appealing. But for me - I know what’s on the other side of it. My father’s realm.”

“Edom. The real one, I mean.”

Magnus nodded. “No matter what happened in my life, I always pulled back from the brink. Because I knew that what awaited me on the other side would be worse suffering than I would ever feel on Earth.”

“So what’s in that castle is… what’s on the other side if Alec crosses that line?”

“Precisely.” Magnus took a long look at Jace. “I don’t need to remind you -”

“That is still Alec in there, no matter what we see, we need to show that we are here for him. I know the drill by now. So what are we expecting in there?”

“My guess? A world where Alec not only feels like he’s lost everyone, but lost any feeling about it.”

Jace furrowed his brow in confusion, trying to make sense of it, when realization dawned and he now understood what Magnus meant.

Alec feared losing _himself_. Everything that made him Alec. After losing everyone he cared about - all that was left was losing himself. This was that last piece of Alec’s unconscious mind - while his conscious mind held to the fear of losing everyone he loved, his unconscious mind feared what lay beyond that.

Magnus and Jace entered the front doors of the castle, and were not prepared for what they saw.

The doors opened immediately onto a throne room, and sitting on a high throne in the middle of it - was Alec. In his full warlock power, his gleaming eyes radiated strength and fury in a way that neither of them had ever seen before. Flames black and gold crackled in one upturned palm. Yet his other hand carelessly held a seraph blade, the adamas within glinting in gold, though the blade itself was dripping blood and ichor onto the smooth obsidian floor.

Alec looked at them impassively, eyes flitting over them only briefly, before resuming his gaze into the distance.

“Alexander.” Magnus whispered. “What’s happened to you?”

“The Lonely King.” came a familiar voice that made Magnus quake down to his boots. A bone-white silhouette materialized from the dark shadows in the corners of the obsidian hall, coming to stand next to Magnus. “Lovely, isn’t he? I’d quite like him for one of mine.”

“You can’t touch him, Father.” Magnus growled. “He is not yours. And you’re not really here.”

“Son, son.” Asmodeus consoled in his demonic tone. “You really think a dream can keep me out?”

“I know what Alexander did to you in that ritual.”

“Ah, yes, your angel boy did burn me quite well. I am currently but a whisper, a figment… a dream.” Asmodeus’ lip curled in a triumphant smirk. “While I regain my strength, before Edom can give me form again, these are the worlds I dwell in. And now - look at him.” Asmodeus smiled at Alec as if he was almost proud. Alec inclined his head towards the demon in the barest of nods. “I have to say, my son, you chose well in him. He has even greater capacity for destruction than you do.”

“Alexander is a creator, not a destroyer.”

“Are you sure?”

“I am.” Magnus refused to look at his father, keeping his eyes on Alec. “I know Alexander fears being a destroyer. He fears becoming all that he hates. He fears being the cause of his loved ones’ suffering. He fears the world beyond that - a world where he is alone, ruling a kingdom of ashes like you do. But this is your world, father, not Alexander’s.”

“But he isn’t that far of a step from it, is he?” Asmodeus hissed into Magnus’ ear. “He’s felt that power. The power and the relief that comes with letting go and bringing destruction on the world. You were there. You felt it too.”

Though he didn’t want to, Magnus let his mind travel back to that day, after the trial of Hemarton, and the battle they’d waged against the Circle members. The rage that had flooded through Alec when his magic didn’t respond, and the bloody vengeance he’d wreaked by hand until Magnus had pulled him off the bloodied remains of that last Circle member.

Asmodeus wasn’t wrong. Alec did have the capacity for destruction that Asmodeus described. Magnus had felt it from the first day that Alec had his new powers. He’d known from the beginning, even before that. Alec was dangerous - but he always had been. Even as only a Shadowhunter, he had been ready to stand against the Clave and tell them how wrong they were.

As Magnus had thought then, he knew to be true now - Alec could burn down the world, if only he wished it. And it seemed that this dream version of him, this Lonely King that Asmodeus spoke of - had indeed burned down the world.

“What brought you here, Alexander?” Magnus asked, wishing that the man on the throne would speak to him.

“He won’t hear you. He can’t. He’s beyond your moral comprehension now.”

“Don’t you mean mortal?” Jace asked.

“No. Alexander Lightwood is no mortal. Neither is my son. I mean moral - he’s reached into that world beyond the limits of his moral belief system. The one that fettered him to reason, to care, to consideration - to _you_.” Asmodeus sneered. “Only now, when he is truly unfettered, can he embrace his true potential. His potential to rule and to destroy. And you all made it possible, isn’t that wonderful?” Asmodeus smiled gleefully.

“To love is to destroy.” Jace breathed.

“No.” Magnus said, gripping Jace’s arm. “Don’t listen to the demon. Don’t listen to him.”

“It’s what Valentine taught me as a child. To love is to destroy. To be loved is to be the one destroyed.”

“Valentine is who you’re basing your beliefs on?” Magnus said, exasperated. “Don’t listen to him. Don’t listen to Valentine. You know that love can do great things.”

“Do I? Love has only brought pain. At least that’s what it feels like.”

“Love does much more than that.” Magnus said. “Love… there are no mortal words that can describe love. Jace, you’ve been through this whole dreamscape with me. Seen Alexander. Seen how much Alexander loves, and how all of his fears relate back to losing that love. You’ve told him how much you love and care about him. You’ve believed it. You’ve believed in him. Now Alec needs you more than ever. Because if you let yourself believe that to love is to destroy - then you’re endorsing this kingdom of ashes and the throne Alexander sits on. Fight it, Jace. Fight what the demon is telling you.”

“The demon.” Asmodeus sniffed. “If you’re not going to use my name, at least call me Father, like you did before.”

“I have no use for a father that only believes in ruin.” Magnus said, turning to face Asmodeus, stepping between him and Alec, hoping that breaking their line of sight could do something, anything, to break the spell that appeared to be on his young love. Hoping that if there was a twinkle of recognition there, that Jace could do what he needed to do if the opportunity presented itself.

“My son, you wound me. What will it take for you to step away from this angel boy, and embrace your true destiny? You know my history. You know how I followed the Morning Star here from Heaven. How ruling in Hell is better than serving in Heaven.”

“Neither is a life that Alexander wants.” Magnus said firmly. “Nor do I. Alexander made his choice. He made his choice to serve humanity. You - Hell envies humanity the choices it has. Heaven celebrates them. That’s the difference between you. Alexander made his choice, and Heaven respects that, and rewards him. You can offer him nothing. Nothing that he wants.”

“I can offer knowledge. I know how Heaven works, my son. I know their weaknesses. I know their vulnerabilities. I know how to bring down the whole order, finally win the battle between Heaven and Hell, if only you -”

“No. The war between Heaven and Hell is not our battle. That is not a battle we want.”

“Oh, but it is a battle you shall have. One day, my son. One day you will wish you listened to me and the guidance that I could provide to your angel boy, and what could save him from the destruction that the world will experience. The destruction that he will wield.”

“You speak lies.” Magnus said, as he saw Jace move out of the corner of his eye, moving towards the throne, and Magnus hoped that meant that somehow Alec was breaking out of whatever trance he was in.

“I wish I was, my son. But now you’ve made your choice. And it will have consequences. There will come a day where you will wish you had chosen to join me in Edom, but such a path is gone, now - now you will see only death and ruin, and it is your angel boy who will wield it. There are forces you do not understand, but soon - soon it will come time for them to reveal themselves. You think you’re saving him - but you’re not. That which is to come - even demons fear to tread where you’ll go.” Asmodeus smiled again. “I think I’ll quite enjoy watching you burn.”

“Magnus!” It was Jace’s voice, calling for him. “Magnus, I need you!”

Magnus backed towards the throne, keeping his eyes firmly on Asmodeus. The demon smiled, stepping back into the shadows, swirling away into a column of white mist. As soon as the mist dissipated, Magnus turned and dashed towards the throne, to what Alexander needed from him.

He was next to Jace in an instant, Jace, who was clutching Alec’s hands as Alec trembled and shook, eyes rolling back in his head.

“What’s happening?” Jace yelled. “What is it?”

“I don’t know. Let me in.”

Magnus broke the grip of one of their hands, clinging tightly to Alec’s in one hand and Jace’s in the other. Magnus’ added touch seemed to calm the tremors a bit, but Alec was still shaking and non-responsive.

“What did Asmodeus do to him?” Jace asked.

“I don’t think it is Asmodeus. Not with what he just said. It - it is Alec himself. He’s trying to retreat further into his mind, but we cannot let that happen.”

“What can we do?”

“Just hold on. Think of home. Think of love. Reach for him through your bond. Overbalancing it to his side is what pulled us in, if we overbalance to our side, it might push us out.”

“Push us out? I thought we needed to tether him through words and rationality, like we’ve been doing. In every other scenario that we’ve gone through.”

“This - this last one, it is beyond reason. Beyond conscious thought. It is the pure unconscious mind come out to play. And if we hold onto him through it, and just let that pure emotion flow, that is what can break us out. Bring us back so we can save him.”

“And if it doesn’t work?”

“No time to think like that.” Magnus cautioned. “No worries, no what-ifs, no fears. This is the deepest darkest corner of his mind - if he tries to retreat even further, he’ll retreat _out_ of it. And we cannot let that happen. So hold on tight.”

Magnus put Asmodeus out of his mind, he put the Clave out of his mind, he put everything out of his mind - everything except for _Alexander._ Everything except for the love that he felt bubbling up in every cell of his being, flooding through his hands into the Shadowhunters, into Jace, into Alec, igniting maelstrom after maelstrom of love and tenderness and beauty.

Alec’s tremors spread to Magnus and Jace, and soon they were all shaking, shaking, shaking, until the vibrations exploded in a white light, consuming them all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’ll leave you with that cliffhanger for now ;) Aaaand it looks like Icelandair mechanics are going on strike, so I have no idea how I'm getting to Canada at this point >.< Cross your fingers that I can make it to Canada on Sunday like I'm supposed to, for when I make it there and jet lag is over, the last chapter of this will be posted :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus and Jace wake up, but the process to wake Alec up is not as easy as anticipated, compelling Magnus to make a life-altering decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made it to Canada! Icelandair did have their mechanics on strike, so I was rerouted through London instead, and that was an absolutely awful connection I had to run to make in London Heathrow, but I made it! So enjoy the last chapter of this fic my lovelies :)

Jace and Magnus opened their eyes at the same time, gasping for breath as they shot up to seated positions, coughing in unison.

“Magnus!” Isabelle exclaimed, grabbing at the hand of his that was flailing in the air. “You’re back. You’re both back.”

Magnus looked across to Jace, whose grandmother was rubbing his back in almost a grandmotherly way. Magnus blinked a few times, the sight was disconcerting. As soon as Jace finished coughing, Imogen stepped away and was all business.

“You’re awake.” The Inquisitor said crisply. “Excellent. Now time to get back to work. We’re not done in Idris, you need to come back with me so we can deal with the rest of the hidden Circle members.”

Jace gave her a scathing look, barely concealing his disgust. “My brother, my parabatai, needs me. I am not going anywhere. Not unless he says that I should go.”

“Jace, I am the Inquisitor. You will listen to me.”

Jace turned to face her, still holding on to Alec’s hand. “I am not going anywhere. I need to save my parabatai’s life and then I need to see what _he_ needs me to do in the battle against Valentine. His is the only opinion I wish to entertain at this moment. I don’t care what you think I need to do. He is the one I’m listening to.”

Imogen motioned to her guards, but before they could move, they found themselves frozen in place. Gurak had come back into the room as the commotion of Magnus and Jace waking up had started, and he’d frozen the guards with a flick of his fingers.

Magnus also turned to face the Inquisitor, mindful of his grips on both Alec and Isabelle. “Inquisitor, I recommend that you go back to Idris now. Do whatever it is that you do there. We need to wake up Alexander, and continue what it is that we do here - fighting bad people like Valentine. When we have accomplished that, we will let you know.”

“I don’t take orders from warlocks.”

“And I don’t take orders from Clave officials.”

“You insolent little -”

A Portal appeared behind the Inquisitor, sucking her in and away. The frozen guards still couldn’t move a muscle, but Magnus could feel their eyes, and he shrugged his shoulders, showing that he was still holding hands with both Alec and Isabelle.

“Wasn’t me.” Magnus said. “But I have the feeling you’ll be seeing your boss again in a moment.”

More Portals appeared behind the guards, and they were sucked away as well, presumably back to Idris where they belonged.

Gurak chuckled. “I was getting bored with them. Dreadfully bored. Good to have you back among the living, Magnus.”

Magnus let go of Isabelle’s hand and tipped an imaginary hat at Gurak. “It’s a pleasure. Now, time to help Alexander.”

Jace and Magnus focused their attentions back on Alec’s comatose body, lying in the bed between them.

“We’re out.” Magnus said. “But we still need to get Alexander out.”

“Now that you’re awake, that should be straightforward.” Gurak said. “Each of you simply needs a stele, to reapply your runes to Alexander, and then he should, in theory, wake up.”

“In theory?” Maryse asked, eyebrows going up. “You seemed to be so sure that it would work.”

“I’ve never seen something like this before.” Gurak said. “This is all going off speculation. Where it is just two Shadowhunter souls, sure, that’s easy enough. But with Alec’s transformation, and Magnus - that’s a whole new dimension. Theoretically, it should work. Thus far, what I’ve said would happen has happened. So this is what should be done next.”

The skin on Alec’s abdomen had been healed cleanly, all that remained was returning his binding runes to his skin.

Magnus and Jace looked at each other. “In the ritual, they needed to be applied at the same time. Would the same be applicable here?” Magnus asked.

“Like as not.” Gurak said.

Isabelle and Maryse both passed their steles to Jace and Magnus, and they pressed them to Alec’s abdomen in unison, still not breaking their holds on Alec with their other hands. The runes burned with a surety that Jace was familiar with, and when the patterns sank into Alec’s skin, they became the same brilliant gold as the rest of his runes.

But still, Alec didn’t wake.

“What did we do wrong?” Jace asked, twisting around to look at Gurak. “That should have worked. Why isn’t he waking up?”

Gurak hovered his hands in the air over Alec’s binding runes, feeling at the energies. He drew his hands back and nodded.

“To restore the bonds in their completeness, you also need to retrace your own matching runes.”

“I don’t have a matching one.” Magnus said. “For the ritual that transformed him, he just needed a binding to a demon-blooded being that he had a close relationship with. I didn’t need to have the same rune. The connection I had to Alec was through the Connection rune, for the Hemarton ritual.” He held his runed hand out to Gurak for examination.

Gurak dismissed it. “Due to your close emotional and sexual bond, it seems that the effects of that Connection rune persisted past its intended use. But for this, for Alec to be grounded and properly bound, you need the binding rune on your skin as well, Magnus. His energy is flickering, the bond needs to be able to flow properly. You and your blood should be able to take it.”

Jace put a hand on Magnus’ arm. “Hold up a moment. I have an idea. I’ll do this first, then you do yours.”

Magnus nodded, and watched as Jace pulled his shirt up, Isabelle stepping up to hold it up as he pressed his stele to the parabatai rune, his other hand still holding Alec’s tightly. He began to trace over the rune.

“Entreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee - for whither thou goest, I will go, and where thou lodgest, I will lodge. Thy people will be my people, and thy God will be my God. Where thou diest, I will die, and there will I be buried. The Angel do so to me, and more also, if aught but death part thee and me.”

As Jace traced his rune, it flared brightly, and continued pulsing until he finished speaking the parabatai oath, at which point it settled into its gold colour, matching Alec’s. Magnus saw Alec’s hand twitch in Jace’s grasp.

“It’s working.” Gurak said. “Magnus, your turn. And you best construct your own oath to say with yours.”

“I can’t use the parabatai oath, then?”

“No. Especially given your romantic relationship. A different oath is very much necessary.”

Magnus bit his lip in concentration, unbuttoning his waistcoat and shirt one handed so that he could reach a spot on his abdomen. As he did so, his mind ran through the vast stores of poetry, scripture and prose that he had memorized, seeing what there was that he could pull together for something like this.

He didn’t relish having to do this with the audience that he had, it seemed intensely personal, but there was little choice if he wanted Alec to wake up.

And for Alec, he had promised to do anything. And he would.

His hand trembled as he gripped Alec’s tightly, though his was cold and clammy in Magnus’ grasp. Magnus blocked out all of the others around him, and set the stele to his own skin, and began to speak.

“Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine skin: For love is stronger than death, they sin who tell us love can die. For love is indestructible, its holy flame forever burneth. So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see, so long lives this, and this gives life to thee.”

The rune spiraled onto Magnus’ skin, matching the rune on Alec’s abdomen. Magnus watched as the rune seared into his skin, and then flickered to the same gold as Alec’s. He dropped the stele on the bed when he was done, breathing heavily, feeling something _else_ rush through the bond, something that he had never felt before.

“What - what is that?” Magnus gasped out, clinging onto Alec with two hands now.

“That’s the full power of the bond between you.” Gurak said. “Before, it wasn’t balanced. Your magics were familiar to each other, but now they can truly work in unison.”

Alec’s eyelashes fluttered, and his eyes opened slowly, taking in everyone who was crowded around his bedside. “What - what’s going on?” Alec rasped hoarsely.

Clary grabbed a glass of water and Jace helped Alec sit up and take small sips.

“You gave us quite the fright there, young man.” Gurak said.

“I’m sorry, who are you?”

“Gurak Bastani. High Warlock of Samarkand. I believe we’ll get better acquainted in the coming days. I came here to New York with Magnus from the Spiral Labyrinth, after he collapsed there.”

“Magnus!” Alec gasped, reaching for him until his sluggish brain caught up and he realized that he was already holding Magnus’ hand. “Magnus. Thank the Angel you’re okay. What happened to you?”

“What happened to us, love.” Magnus said softly. “To you and me and Jace.”

Alec furrowed his brow. “I don’t understand. I… I just - Jonathan - Max -”

“Max is perfectly fine.” Maryse said. “He’s asleep upstairs right now, but Helen and Aline found him after you and Clary were kidnapped by Jonathan.”

“No, you don’t understand…” Alec tried again. “What… I was dreaming. Strange dreams.” He looked up at Magnus and Jace. “You were both there.”

“They were more than just regular dreams, Alec.” Jace said. “Jonathan sliced off your runes. Not all of them, but the ones that bound you to us. Me and Magnus. That made our bonds go haywire. Magnus and I had to find you in those dreams, find you and bring you back. Once we woke up, we could put the runes back on you, and now you’re here with us too.” Jace squeezed Alec’s hand. “It’ll all make sense eventually.”

Alec looked at Magnus, and Magnus kissed him softly on the forehead. “You just need to rest, love, let your brain make sense of everything it has gone through.”

“But - okay, we’ll get back to that - but what about the Spiral Labyrinth?” Alec worked his throat carefully, looking at everyone in the room, choosing not to go into details. “Have - have they made any decisions?”

“Not as far as we know of, I’m afraid.” Gurak said. “I haven’t heard any further news since we brought Magnus here. That was three days ago. But the werewolf said he would report back to us when he returned. They were still deliberating when we left.”

“You should take him home, Magnus.” Jace said, looking at him. “If Luke calls here, we’ll call you and let you know.”

“You sure?” Magnus asked.

“Well, it is Alec’s choice, but…” Jace smiled at his parabatai. “I’m here when you need me, Alec. But right now, I think you and Magnus need some time alone.” Jace’s eyes flitted between the runes on Alec and Magnus’ abdomens, and Magnus understood what he was implying.

“Alexander?” Magnus asked.

“Yeah.” Alec breathed. “Home sounds good.” Alec rested his forehead against Jace’s for a moment, closing his eyes and feeling his parabatai next to him. “Thank you, Jace. For everything.”

“Anytime. Just don’t make a habit of needing to be rescued from dream realms, all right?”

“I won’t.”

Magnus helped Alec stand, and Isabelle brought him some fresh clothes. As Alec went behind a privacy screen to change, Magnus started rebuttoning his shirt, and was surprised by Maryse coming up to him.

“Thank you, Magnus. For everything you’ve done for my son.”

Magnus smiled tightly. “I’ll do anything for the people that I love.”

“I know you will. I haven’t always believed it, I haven’t always thought that you were good for my son, but right there - you didn’t hesitate in binding your life to his. And I must say, that poem was beautiful. Did you make it up yourself?”

Magnus shook his head ruefully. “I’m afraid not. But I did know some of the poets who created parts of it.”

“Oh - well. Did you know that part of what you said is part of a Shadowhunter wedding ceremony?”

Magnus’ eyes widened. “I - it didn’t occur to me at the moment I said it.” Magnus said, now remembering the oaths spoken at Will and Tessa’s wedding all those years ago. “But now that I think about it, yes. But I don’t take it back.”

Maryse nodded. “After what you’ve been through together recently, I don’t expect you would. Take care of him? I don’t know if the Inquisitor will try to come back tonight, but -”

“You know I will take care of him, Maryse. And if you’re worried about the Inquisitor, I think Catarina and Gurak would be all too happy to set up some wards to prevent her re-entry.”

Maryse smirked. “Noted. While you were out, they also helped restore some of the Institute’s protective wards, but that is really your specialty, so if - maybe tomorrow, could you please rebuild them?”

“I’ll talk to Alec. But I think that can be arranged.”

“Thank you.”

Alec came back out from behind the privacy screen, dressed and ready to go. He pressed himself to Magnus’ side, kissing his temple.

“Mother.” Alec said cautiously. “What’s going on?”

“I was just - well, if tomorrow when you return here, if you and Magnus could rebuild the wards to their full capacity? I know you’ve been busy the past days, but -”

“I will, Mother. I will.” Alec squeezed Magnus’ arm for a moment, and then stepped up to Maryse, enveloping her in a hug. “Mom, you - you have to know, no matter what happens, no matter what I can do or what I’m capable of - I’m still a Shadowhunter.”

“I know you are.” Maryse said, tears pricking her eyes. “And I am so proud of you. I’m so proud of everything that you’ve been doing. You’re - you’re a wonderful leader, Alec, and if Imogen can’t see that - well, that’s her problem. Know that I’m by your side, no matter what happens.”

“Thanks, Mom.” Alec said. “I - I’ll need to talk to you, soon, but - right now I just need to get home.”

Maryse nodded, kissing Alec’s cheek as she pulled away. “Rest. I know you were just asleep for three days, but - they were probably quite mentally challenging days. So get some proper rest. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Thanks.”

Alec smiled at Isabelle and Catarina as he left the room, holding Magnus’ hand tight, and once they were on the lawn of the Institute, Magnus created a Portal to his loft.

“Ready?” Magnus asked.

“Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish I could say that Magnus’ binding oath was my own words, but alas it is not. It is a conglomeration and adaptation from three sources - The Bible (Song of Solomon 8:6), Robert Southey’s “Curse of Kehama” and William Shakespeare’s Sonnet 18.
> 
> When I first wrote this chapter, I thought the first lines from Song of Solomon were particularly appropriate for Shadowhunters, and wouldn’t you know it, it would appear so did Cassandra Clare - since they are used for Shadowhunter weddings in the books :P I didn't realize that until after I wrote this chapter! It will still be awhile before Alec and Magnus get married though. Stay tuned for the weekend, when I’ll be posting the next story in this series, a special one that will be both sexy and sensual, where Alec learns about Magnus’ new rune ;)


End file.
